Personality Makeover

If you're familiar with the Myers-Briggs Personality Test, you know it consists of four pairs of traits: Introverted (I) - Extroverted (E), Intuiting (N) - Sensing (S), Thinking (T) - Feeling (F), and Judging (J) -Perceiving (P).  Some of these terms make more immediate sense than others, so a very brief explanation:

* Introverted-Extroverted is the most readily apparent, although it must be noted that there are lots of layers to this continuum.  Not just how much you like solitude or small groups versus large groups, but also in which setting do you draw energy, as well as whether you think inside and then speak or think by speaking.

* Intuiting-Sensing is mostly about whether you are more future-oriented or present-oriented.

* Thinking-Feeling is mostly about whether you make decisions based on facts or emotions.

* Judging-Perceiving is mostly about whether you like things settled (Judging) or prefer to keep your options open (Perceiving).



I first tested as an INTJ in college, and that hasn't changed some 25 years later.  What is interesting, though, is that as I've gotten older, I've gotten more comfortable with who I am along these lines and somehow at the same time have learned to lean into the opposite of what I normally am.  This is true in all four axes:

* I consider myself an introvert that has had to practice extroversion, and in doing so I am learning the benefits of being extroverted.  I still tire from too much social stimulation and have a whole inside world of thoughts.  But I've gained an appreciation of being a little bit more of a social butterfly, and of talking out ideas rather than trying to form them purely inside my head.

* I am still very future-oriented but have learned to sit in the present.  This is true of me as a parent, husband, and worker.  It's good to have a future orientation, to envision where things should go and how to get there.  But it's also good to be in the moment, and I'm learning how to do just that.

* My default is still thinking over feeling.  But I'm learning how to read emotions, my own and that of others.  Because we're not robots, we're humans, and the facts can only take you as far as your ability to appeal to people's whole selves.

*The J/P split is probably the aspect of Myers-Briggs that I am most to one extreme, in my case on the J side.  And yet I have come to understand that the world is uncertain, new information arrives that changes your plans, and there is such a thing as deciding on something too soon.  My younger self would marvel at my increasing comfort at letting things play out, at strategic procrastination if you will.

I should conclude by saying that these aspects of self-awareness are also an awareness of how others are different from me and that that's pretty cool.  Communication, empathy, and leadership all depend on realizing that people see the world differently from you, and yet how do you agree on something and move forward.  I'm glad I'm learning all these things about myself and others.