CRITICAL ME

I am plodding through the writing of this book manuscript of devotionals for urban ministers. In concept, I have a pretty strong idea of what I want to say, but the details of putting one word after another and one page after the other isn't coming so smoothly. One of the snags I'm hitting is that I'm realizing how critical I can be, in a way that is not helpful to the Kingdom or to the reader.

To be specific, I want to communicate how great and glorious urban ministry and discipleship can be. That it is no sacrifice to live in the world's urban slums and inner cities. That ethnic and socio-economic diversity is a beautiful thing, not a dirtiness to be avoided. And that where metropolises are falling apart has just as much to do with the ignorant decisions and selfish intentions of the upper- and middle-class as it has to do with the sinful patterns and bad decisions of the lower class.

But when I read my work, I see how it seethes with a critical edge. I am not so deluded to think that I am innocent of participating in systemic evil and institutional racism. If anything, my criticalness comes from being clued into the guilt on my own head. I sinfully hold myself in higher regard than those less "enlightened" in the dynamics of race and urban policy, even though I myself have much to learn in these areas.

So how to enlighten in my writings, and to call attention to ways in which decisions that we make that we think are so innocent and even noble are actually contributing to the destruction of cities, institutions, and people -- without coming across as having a chip on my shoulder, scorning those who dare flee cities or who want to have nothing to do with them in the first place? I don't know. I'm just reporting what I've observed as I've read over my manuscript, as a red flag about my own sinfulness and prejudice, and as a present barrier in my ability to complete this book idea. God, forgive me for my self-righteousness and judgeful attitudes. May this book not be a sinful rant about present city-haters, but a righteous call to future city-lovers.

WHAT' S NEXT FOR WOODLAND CHURCH?

Our church, under the guidance of a committee in which I will be participating, is about to enter into a six-month period of determining its mission. Specifically, we are undertaking such a task to help us as we seek to hire a new senior pastor; but I believe this activity is of utmost importance for our church's overall health. Throughout this process, we will no doubt unearth various strengths as well as weaknesses; we will identify core values that our congregation has demonstrated over its 137-year history, as well as dysfunctionalities old and new.

But I think there is something more profound going on here than simply building on strengths and shoring up weaknesses. Each of us elders has been given a copy of Rick Warren's "The Purpose Driven Church" to help us in our brainstorming. And in the very first chapter, Warren reminds the reader that the goal of a church is not to ask God to bless what it is doing. The goal of a church is to do what God is blessing. To use his surfing analogy: God makes the waves, surfers merely spot them and ride them. And so it is that God's Spirit is at work in our day; will we as a church be humble and perceptive enough to discern where that work is taking place and put ourselves there? I pray so.