The Most Important Skill in Life is Being Able to Count (the Votes)

 

"Survivor" premiered in May 2000, and represented the dawn of a new era of reality TV that took the formula from previous offerings like MTV's "Real World" (unscripted chaos among ordinary Americans) and added a new twist, that of austere conditions and arduous challenges. Naively, I thought to myself that the show would reward sheer brawns and brains; I mean, the title of the show seemed to suggest that the winner would be the one that could physically and mentally outlast the others.

Sure enough, some of the early people "voted off the island" were those that either lacked the ability or motivation to contribute to the community's ability to make it through the night. But along the way, something else kicked in. Those that found success and ultimately won were those who could form alliances, build trust, backstab when advantageous, and among all things have a very good understanding of whether they had enough votes to live to play another day.

Life is not a reality show in which we're stranded on a desert island and left to fend for ourselves. But the human nature observed on "Survivor" is the same that governs how we behave in civilization. 

Some of us had cultural upbringings and educational resources that allowed us to view the world as a place where if we worked hard and played fair, we would find success. Others of us had a less sheltered childhood existence, left to fend for ourselves, learning the code of the streets in the process. The former is a solid foundation for a respectable existence. The latter is woven over and under that, sometimes dooming people to a harder life and sometimes allowing people to soar to the very highest levels of power and wealth.

As noted above, early people voted off on "Survivor" were those who were deemed least able or willing to contribute to the group's survival. But, later on, it was often the opposite: those who were physically and mentally strongest to contribute were also seen as the greatest competition for the prize, and so it made sense for others to gang up on them and compel a sufficient number of votes to eliminate them from the competition. Which, as harsh and illogical as that might sound, actually makes the most sense, because it is clear if you have opted to play this game that the goal is not for the group to thrive but for you to win.

I'll let you draw your own conclusions about pockets of your life that resemble this dynamic. I'll only say, in closing, that after having told a similar story from my career journey to a group of college students, I left them with a frank statement of: whether you like it or not, there is an aspect of life that is like a game, and that game has rules, and some of those rules are not fair, so you will have to decide whether you want to play the game or not, or change the game or not, but there will be consequences to whatever you choose.

However cynical and harsh that might be for a young person just starting out at university to hear, I feel it is a fair and helpful sentiment to convey. It is a hallmark of our modern democracy that we balance rule by the majority with protection of the minority, which is to say that those who have more votes get to be in power, and we have checks and balances in place to make sure that power isn't used to punish those out of power. 

We have a conflicting feeling about power, in that it is easy to abuse and easy to covet, but that doesn't substitute for the fact that if you want to get something done you have to have power, and if you want to have power then you need to do things to get it. Which, I learned from "Survivor" over 25 years ago, isn't necessarily being the strongest or smartest, but rather being able to seek, count, and secure votes.

Recommended Reads, 56th in a Quarterly Series

 

 

Stuff I'd recommend from the past three months. 

War and Peace (Tolstoy). It turns out one of the most famous books in the world is a really good read.

Native Son (Wright). Gripping narrative; I could not put this book down.

My Broken Language (Hudes). There's something about this book that kept drawing me in.

Talking to Strangers: What We Should Know About the People We Don’t Know (Gladwell). Gladwell at his best, probing something everyone thinks they know but from a fresh new angle.

Frankenstein (Shelley). I finished this book in two days, that's how into it I got.

Careless People: A Cautionary Tale of Power, Greed, and Lost Idealism (Wynn-Williams). An incredible look into the company behind the website everyone's on.

Leonardo da Vinci (Isaacson). The subject is one of the most interesting people ever, and the author does a great job of bringing us into his fascinating life.

It (King). One of the great horror books of all time and a clear inspiration for "Stranger Things."

Gulp: Adventures on the Alimentary Canal (Roach). She is one of my favorite authors, seamlessly blending humor and scholarship such that I am constantly simultaneously learning and laughing.

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Here is an excerpt from a book I recently read, "The Little Book of Common Sense Investing: The Only Way to Guarantee Your Fair Share of Stock Market Returns," by John Bogle.

Successful investing is about owning businesses and reaping the huge rewards provided by the dividends and earnings growth of our nation’s—and, for that matter, the world’s—corporations. The higher the level of their investment activity, the greater the cost of financial intermediation and taxes, the less the net return that shareholders—as a group, the owners of our businesses—receive. The lower the costs that investors as a group incur, the higher the rewards that they reap. So to enjoy the winning returns generated by businesses over the long term, the intelligent investor will reduce to the bare-bones minimum the costs of financial intermediation. That’s what common sense tells us. That’s what indexing is all about. And that’s the central message of this book.

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Here are a couple of excerpts from a book I recently read, "Talking Back, Talking Black: Truths About America's Lingua Franca," by John McWhorter 

There is a term for people whose casual and formal speech differs to this degree: diglossia, from the Greek for “two tongues.” However, I have held off on introducing that term, because giving this bidialectal linguistic existence a label implies that it is exotic, when in fact it is extremely common and even a norm. Around the world, if a language has a strong written tradition and is also spoken widely, then often its spoken versions have drifted from the conservative written standard to varying degrees. As often as not, this means that there is a gulf between the way people chat and the way they speak. They speak the written version; they talk the other version. As such, there is ample diglossia in many languages of South Asia, across Indonesia, and in Tibetan, Swahili, German, and Italian itself, as well as in Greece, China, parts of Sweden, Norway, and Denmark, and elsewhere. If anything, what merits a special term is monoglossia—speaking always basically one thing. 

Black Americans are disglossic—perfectly normally diglossic. Whether they would be allowed to use Black English in a job interview is as loopy an issue to focus on as whether a Moroccan would defend his master’s thesis in Moroccan Arabic—almost as different from Standard Arabic as French is from Latin—or whether a Finn who gets a job as a newscaster would talk on the air the same way as she does to her mom.

I want you to be truly comfortable with the idea that there is indeed a black way of speaking, that there isn’t anything wrong with it, that it would be bizarre if such speech did not exist, and that it is spoken alongside Standard English, not in opposition to it. However, Black English (and there is a such thing!) is spoken in a society in which racism still exists, and the issue of what we do about racism is decidedly complex.

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Here is an excerpt from a book I recently read, "The Metamorphosis and Other Stories," by Franz Kafka.

"It must go away," cried the sister, "that is the only way, father. All you have to do is try to get rid of the thought that it is Gregor. That we believed it for so long is our real misfortune. But how can it be Gregor? If it were Gregor, he would have long since realized that people cannot live with such an animal and would have left voluntarily. We would then not have a brother, but we could go on living and cherish his memory. But as it is, this animal persecutes us, drives away the lodgers, obviously wants to take over the whole apartment, and leave us to sleep in the alley.

"Just look, Father," she shrieked suddenly, "he's starting again!" And in a panic that Gregor found completely incomprehensible, she even left her mother, literally pushed herself away from her chair, as if she would rather sacrifice her mother than stay near Gregor, and rushed behind her father who, entirely unhinged by her behavior, also stood up and half-raised his arms as if to protect her.

As The World Turns

 

For a work-related golf outing, I was recently paired up with an older gentleman who was 10 years retired from working in city government but still civically active and relationally connected. Having journeyed with other colleagues his age, as they wind down their formal careers and explore various levels of staying engaged, I asked him if it was his preference to stay in the loop, and if it was harder to do so now that he wasn't going into the office every day. 

His answer was a funny and insightful one. He asked me if I'd ever watched soap operas as a kid, and I told him that my mom and her sister would watch "As the World Turns," so there were probably some points in my childhood where I followed along and got to know the characters and plot lines. He responded that my answer proved his point. In his mind, Philly is a like a soap opera. There are main characters and central plot lines that carry over multiple seasons. And, even when new characters and plot lines are introduced, it doesn't take look for you to figure them out, if you've been watching for long enough. 

Sure enough, I remember returning to "As the World Turns" many years after my childhood, perhaps when I was home from college one summer and my mom or my aunt had it on the TV. And it is correct that within a single episode, even if you don't recognize characters or follow what's going on at first, by the end of the episode you've made the appropriate connections to follow along. Because people, even if new, play a certain role, and plot lines, even if new, are birthed out of older and more long-standing plot lines.

And so it is that this older gentleman has been able, 10 years out from quitting his day job, to either know what's going on in town or quickly figure it out. I don't know that I'm as savvy as he is, but I suspect many of us could also follow along reasonably well even if we were officially out of the loop for a bit. I guess that's how soap operas, and big cities, work. 

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Here is an excerpt from an article I recently read on ESPN.com, "Koivun Wins 3M Open in Third Pro Start, Holding Off Scheffler."

 

"I feel like I've gotten a lot better over the past couple years of being able to beat guys with my mentality," said Koivun, who broke the NCAA career record for per-round stroke average (68.89) and helped lead Auburn to the national championship last month. "Sometimes I watch guys hit on the range and I don't feel like I'm the most talented out there, but if I can go out there and believe and use my brain to my advantage, then that's definitely kind of like a superpower."

It's Long Overdue But Now Philly's Slamming

 

 

The announcement of LeBron James choosing to play for the Philadelphia 76ers for the next two years hit our fair city like a lightning bolt into an otherwise sleepy Friday summer day. But shock soon gave way to giddy excitement. James has a lot left in the tank and immediately makes the home team championship contenders. If he can do what he did in Cleveland, Miami, and Los Angeles and bring home that Larry O'Brien trophy, boy will that parade slap.

Beyond just elevating the 76ers on the court, James' arrival in Philadelphia portends many more positives for our city. Media coverage, jersey sales, and social media eyeballs follow James literally everywhere he goes. The extended James clan will soon learn how to navigate our transportation, schools, and social scene, and his global fan base will learn all about Philly in the process. As for the games themselves, national telecasts disproportionately feature whatever team LeBron is playing for, meaning a lot of shots of our arena and city will be broadcast around the world.

I'm brought back 35+ years ago to the second half of my senior year in high school, when I was deciding to go to Penn and then getting ready to enroll. Being a nerd of that area and serious about my career aspirations, the opportunity to go to the best undergrad business program in the land in the Wharton School of Business was too hard to pass up, and honestly if campus was on Mars I would've built a rocket ship to get me there.

Nowadays, youth are much more aware of the location in which they'll be spending four formative years of their lives, and they think about how that setting is part of the educational process they are buying into. But back then, I picked Wharton first and foremost, and the fact that it was in an old East Coast city that I knew very little about was truly an afterthought.

That said, by the second half of my senior year in high school, I was beginning to imagine myself living in Philly for the next four years (not knowing, of course, that I would fall in love with the city AND meet a girl, and consequently spend the rest of my life to date there). And, into that moment, a new group called Boyz II Men burst onto the scene with their mega-hit, "Motownphilly."

The song was immediately and insanely popular all over the country, and, while I had other reference points for Philly (Liberty Bell, Dr. J), that song essentially served as a proxy for this new place I would be going to. And so I could not help but equate Philly as a place that was unspeakably cool, somehow brash and refined at the same time, and unmistakably something that everyone couldn't get enough of.

"Motownphilly" was released in April 1991, the very month I submitted my decision to enroll at Penn. It's no exaggeration to say that that song helped cinch my decision to go to school 2,500 miles from home and put forth effort in getting to know the city that school was located in, which in turn has set the course for the entirety of my life since then. I'm not sure there's a song that's had a bigger impact on my life.

Fast forward to the present, and maybe there are shy teenagers all over the world whose decision to come to Philly is influenced in part by the fact that if it is a good enough place for LeBron James to pick for the sunset of his career and to serve as the 2026-2028 home for the extended James family and professional unit, then maybe it holds some promise for them as well. Whatever circumstances came together in the world and in my head in April 1991 to make me decide to come to Penn, I am profoundly grateful for the good life they have led to for me. It's exciting to think that maybe there are others in 2026 who are about to embark on the start of a similar journey.

Trusting the Process for One Last Job

 

 

 

When LeBron James famously announced he was taking his "talents to South Beach," my friend got a kick out of how James' move from Cleveland to Miami coincided perfectly with his own decision to relocate his consulting practice from Ohio to Florida for both personal and business reasons. I teased him, because his decision came first, that he set the trend and LeBron followed.

That was over a decade ago. Yesterday, the story broke that LeBron will play the next two years of his career (I assume his last two years of his career but who knows?) for the 76ers, rocketing our home team to the top of media attention, jersey sales, and championship aspirations. It's a giddy time for a city that is already basking in the glow of having successfully hosted the PGA Tournament, MLB All-Star Game, and FIFA World Cup in this the 250th anniversary of the signing of the Declaration of Independence (which of course also happened here). Summer of Philly indeed!

LeBron's words are always dissected to death, and yesterday's announcement was no different. I immediately gravitated to a sentiment that cuts deeply personally, which is that he left one job (having played for the Los Angeles Lakers the past 8 years and informing them he did not wish to return for a 9th season) and had this time to process with those closest to him what would be a good next (last?) job in what is one of the all-time great careers of any sport.

This is exactly where I am, having decided to leave one job (Econsult Solutions, where I was employed from 2006 to 2026), without knowing what my next job is, and doing so with intention so that the job search could be informed by this in-between season rather than pre-determined prior to my departure from my previous job.

Really brave or really dumb? Probably a little bit of both, but let's focus on the positives. This transition season has been rich in travel and recreation, as well as exploring a wide range of potential next jobs (and the fascinating people, topics, and conversations that come along with that), and a not insignificant amount of time in self-reflection as well, to help guide my searching so that it hopefully yields a process and outcome consistent with my most deeply held beliefs.

I am now 2+ months into my process and still uncertain what's next and when. LeBron similarly kept us all in suspense all summer but has since made his decision. I guess that puts me on the clock to make my call too. Will keep you posted!

Everyday Christianity

 

In my faith journey, I've been fortunate to observe a wide diversity of expressions of worship and truth. Formal preaching as well as sermons laced with vernacular and anecdotes. High worship and contemporary. Intellectually dense and simple-minded. I think this is good, as I think all are acceptable and honorable manifestations of our interaction with the divine.

I do think it is not surprising, since we are fallen humans, that not so righteous thoughts creep into our faith expressions. This includes more sophisticated people of faith looking down on less sophisticated people of faith, exalting their ways as holier and considering less refined ways to be less than.

It is interesting to me that the English versions of the Bible over the years have represented a far more earthy and accessible language use. We think of the King James as stilted and lofty with its "thee's" and "thou's," but that was actually the common people's cadence, with the translation being as faithful as possible to both the original Hebrew and Greek as well as how normal folks spoke in everyday life. 

And of course Jesus Himself was very counter-cultural from the perspective of the respected religious leaders of the day, choosing to pal around with fishermen and women of questionable reputation rather than society's elite. Which of course is not to say that one can't be both upper-class and secularly influential as well as a person of faith. But it is also to say that one definitely needn't be upper-class and secularly influential in order to be important in the taxonomy of the Kingdom of God.

I went to an Ivy League school and have had white-collar jobs all my adult life. But my faith is meant to be accessible to all, if we who are esteemed more highly in our society don't get in the way with our arrogance and haughtiness.

Conversion Theory

 

This story, which I'd been following from behind the scenes for quite some time, finally broke while I was away this summer. The building housing Woodland Presbyterian Church, the congregation I was part of  from the mid-1990s to the mid-2010s, was sold off a few years back and it is now official that it will be converted to luxury apartments.

I cannot overstate how meaningful that location is to me and how special that place was to so many. Church is, unfortunately, so segregated and so sterile, whereas Woodland was so diverse and so real. Amy and I got married there, and I attended many other weddings there, as well as many funerals and worship services and potluck dinners. It is, truly, what I think church should look like, and I haven't been able to attain it before or since.

It's natural to lament the closure of a church and the conversion of its physical facilities. With religious attendance in decline, this is happening all throughout the country. In Philadelphia, this story layers on many other dynamics, namely: the relationship between the community and the main institution in the area, the University of Pennsylvania (which entertained the possibility of buying and using the site before ultimately deciding to decline); and the specter of gentrification as a house of worship welcoming to rich and poor now gives way to housing at a relatively high price point.

Nostalgia has a powerful pull on us, as it should. I personally ache as I think about how important that place was to my life in so many ways, juxtaposed with it being repurposed for something completely different. Nevertheless, change is inevitable, and the marketplace speaks the loudest. Indeed, I know for a fact that those involved in the recent stewardship of the site tried desperately to find a buyer who would retain the site's core function as a place of worship. 

In the end, more housing is a very good thing for our neighborhood, and one shouldn't understate how positive this is. Even more significant is that adaptive reuse is far better than demolition; honestly, it is a huge stretch to retain the structure than to start anew, so I consider this to be a big win for preservationists and for those of us for whom the building means so much to us psychologically. 

I think it's still sad news. But it could've been far sadder. And there's a lot of happiness in there too.