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Here are a few excerpts from a book I recently read, "Tiger Woods," by Jeff Benedict.



Tiger wasn’t just alone atop the world of golf. In a very literal sense, he was alone, period. Despite his killer instinct on the course, he was an introvert off it, more comfortable playing video games, watching television, or practicing and training in solitude. As far back as childhood, he spent far more time by himself in his bedroom than playing outside with other children. An only child, he learned early on that his parents were the only ones he should truly trust and rely on. They more or less programmed him that way. His father took on the roles of golf mentor, sage, visionary, and best friend. His mother, Kultida, was Tiger’s disciplinarian and fearsome protector. Together, his parents proved an impregnable force that never let anyone trespass on the tightly guarded path to success they had paved for their son. In their Southern California home, where life revolved around Tiger and golf, the mantra was clear: Family is everything.

Remembering Kobe

Like all hoop fans, I am still reeling from the news of Kobe Bryant's tragic and untimely death on Sunday in a helicopter accident.  Sudden news hits us differently when it is a public figure than a personal loved one, but I suspect that for many of us Kobe represented more than just a really famous person and all-time sports great.  The fact that I am writing a blog post just to process the news should give you an indication of where I am on this.

For people of my era, Kobe was more legend than mortal.  His basketball arc has been chronicled many times over but still belies belief.  Teen wunderkind goes pro straight out of high school, stars for the glamorous Lakers, wins five titles, and closes his career out with 60 points in his final game.  Throughout, he is feared, respected, and beloved as a competitor of the highest order, his training regimen and overall work ethic the stuff of mythology.

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Here are a few excerpts from a book I recently read, "The Unwinding of the Miracle: A Memoir of Life, Death, and Everything That Comes After," by Julie Yip-Williams.



My sweet babies, I do not have the answer to the question of why, at least not now and not in this life. But I do know that there is incredible value in pain and suffering, if you allow yourself to experience it, to cry, to feel sorrow and grief, to hurt. Walk through the fire and you will emerge on the other end, whole and stronger. I promise. You will ultimately find truth and beauty and wisdom and peace. You will understand that nothing lasts forever, not pain, or joy. You will understand that joy cannot exist without sadness. Relief cannot exist without pain. Compassion cannot exist without cruelty. Courage cannot exist without fear. Hope cannot exist without despair. Wisdom cannot exist without suffering. Gratitude cannot exist without deprivation. Paradoxes abound in this life. Living is an exercise in navigating within them.

I was deprived of sight. And yet, that single unfortunate physical condition changed me for the better. Instead of leaving me wallowing in self-pity, it made me more ambitious. It made me more resourceful. It made me smarter. It taught me to ask for help, to not be ashamed of my physical shortcoming. It forced me to be honest with myself and my limitations, and eventually to be honest with others. It taught me strength and resilience. 

You will be deprived of a mother. As your mother, I wish I could protect you from the pain. But also as your mother, I want you to feel the pain, to live it, embrace it, and then learn from it. Be stronger people because of it, for you will know that you carry my strength within you. Be more compassionate people because of it; empathize with those who suffer in their own ways. Rejoice in life and all its beauty because of it; live with special zest and zeal for me. Be grateful in a way that only someone who lost her mother so early can, in your understanding of the precariousness and preciousness of life. This is my challenge to you, my sweet girls, to take an ugly tragedy and transform it into a source of beauty, love, strength, courage, and wisdom. 

Many may disagree, but I have always believed, always, even when I was a precocious little girl crying alone in my bed, that our purpose in this life is to experience everything we possibly can, to understand as much of the human condition as we can squeeze into one lifetime, however long or short that may be. We are here to feel the complex range of emotions that come with being human. And from those experiences, our souls expand and grow and learn and change, and we understand a little more about what it really means to be human. I call it the evolution of the soul. Know that your mother lived an incredible life that was filled with more than her “fair” share of pain and suffering, first with her blindness and then with cancer. And I allowed that pain and suffering to define me, to change me, but for the better.

Managing Greatness

They're calling it the Year of the Quarterback in the NFL.  Which is less that QBs have been singularly awesome this season (although they have been) and more that coaches have designed schemes around the strengths of their signal callers rather than ramming them into the square pegs of their old reliable schemes.  Lamar Jackson will win MVP and Patrick Mahomes is elevated as a generational talent, and it's because they freaking awesome, but also because their coaches, Jim Harbaugh and Andy Reid respectively, sublimated their usual way of doing things and were able to see how their QBs unique strengths could be exploited on the playing field to devastating consequence.  And we the fans are reaping the benefits of it.  

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Here are a couple of excerpts from a book I recently read, "Ladies Who Punch: The Explosive Inside Story of 'The View,'" by Ramin Setoodeh.




At least one of her famous guests was moved by the procession. In the days after the wedding, Tutera got a call from Trump requesting a bid on his upcoming ceremony, set for January 2005. He wanted a carbon copy of what he’d seen, and long before Melania plagiarized from Michelle Obama’s Democratic National Convention speech, she borrowed something from the View bride. “Melania and Donald copied my design and hired someone else,” Tutera said. “That’s the God’s honest truth. Look at the photos of their wedding versus Star’s. It’s the exact same thing! The way the flowers were set up, the layout, the whole thing.”

Her show was the place to go if you loved talking about pop culture, celebrities—and Rosie O’Donnell. Instead of engaging in normal banter with her famous guests, many of her questions revolved around Rosie’s own obsessions: All My Children, Ally McBeal, Ring Dings, decoupage, Tom Cruise, and Barbra Streisand. No star, no matter how big, could escape Rosie’s rabid interests. On February 3, 1997, Hillary Rodham Clinton participated in an interview that was unlike anything she’d previously done on TV. Rather than discuss public policy or health care, the first lady played a round of trivia about The Mary Tyler Moore Show, kissed Oscar the Grouch, and belted out a duet of “The Telephone Hour” from Bye Bye Birdie.

Give Yourself the First and Best Time

Waking up insanely early is sometimes held up as this hallowed thing that hyper-productive people do.  Those who subscribe to this practice swear by it and boast about it, while others get frustrated they can't or get irritated when it gets bandied about.

As you know, I am one of those early risers.  I do it because my days consist of a demanding job, numerous civic pursuits, and many family obligations.  If I don't make time for myself first thing in the morning - for prayer and contemplation and journaling, Bible study, exercise, and just plain having a peaceful moment to myself before the madness begins, I'm never going to get that time.

What Am I Working On

As has become my custom every three months, here's what I'm working on now at work. I won't repeat anything from last time that I happen to still be working on, and for confidentiality's sake I have to blur some of the details for some of these studies.

* Economic impact updates at several universities around the country

* Updating job and tax revenue gains from a proposed suburban industrial development project

* Economic resilience framework for a location beset by natural disasters

See Color

Asher and I are out and about a lot, and of course we get some double-takes, which I understand, since even in a cosmopolitan place like our neighborhood it's not often you see an Asian dude with a little black boy.  Sometimes the interactions are mean-spirited, like the time three boys came up to Asher and, after Asher insisted I was his daddy, said "no he isn't," laughed, spit at Asher, and ran away.  Usually it's far more innocent, like when I was picking Asher up from Kid Watch at the Y and the boy next to him gave a puzzled look and said, "he can't be your dad, he's a different color than you."

Some parents might be horrified to think that even five-year-olds see color, but the fact of the matter is that we are different shades, and even the littlest of boys and girls can see that.  Usually at that age, there's no more importance associated with this observation.  But, when we as parents shush our kids, as if their statement is rude or uncouth, kids learn that these differences are to be shrouded in shame.  Which is truly a shame, since we parents owe our kids lots of honest conversations about race while they are growing up under our roofs.  And if we act like, and our kids pick up on, color being something you just don't mention, then it makes those conversations and that work that much harder to happen.

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Here is an excerpt from a book I recently read, "The Death of Truth: Notes on Falsehood in the Age of Trump," by Michiko Kakutani:

Klemperer devoted an entire chapter to the Nazis’ obsession with numbers and superlatives; everything had to be the best or the most. If a German from the Third Reich went on an elephant hunt, Klemperer wrote, he would have to boast that he’d “finished off the biggest elephants in the world, in unimaginable numbers, with the best weapon on earth.”

2019 Car Usage

This is the 11th year I have tracked car usage, so I think it's safe to say this has become a habit. As has the nerdy tracking and graphing of it in Microsoft Excel. (You can check out 2018 here, 2017 here, 2016 here, 2015 here, 2014 here, 2013 here, 2012 here, 2011 here, 2010 here, and 2009 here.)

As before, the Philly totals represent, in order, number of trips, number of legs represented in those trips (i.e. going to and from my in-laws, making one stop to get gas, counts as three legs), and number of legs in which I was driven (rather than driving).
 
The other city totals represent, in order, number of times I was in that location, number of days I was in that location, number of trips, number of legs represented in those trips, and number of legs in which I was driven. 

Jan 5/24/2 NYC 1/3/0/0/0 Ocean City 1/1/1/2/0

Feb 12/41/1 New Orleans 1/2/0/0/4

Mar 13/42/5 Ocean City 1/1/1/3/0

Apr 8/27/1 Raleigh 1/1/1/3/2 Bucks County 1/1/1/0/2 NYC 1/1/0/0/0

May 10/30/5 New Orleans 1/2/0/0/4 Ocean City 1/1/1/0/2 Toronto 1/1/0/0/5 Pittsburgh 1/1/1/10/0 Bucks County 1/1/1/3/0 Trenton 1/1/0/0/1

Jun 11/30/1 Villanova 1/1/0/0/0 Hershey 1/2/2/10/0 OCNJ 2/2/2/9/0

Jul 12/32/1 DC 1/1/0/0/0 St. Louis 1/4/0/0/8 Greenwood Hills 1/1/1/4/0 Ocean City 1/1/1/2/0

Aug 8/24/0 Boston 1/4/2/7/0 Rehoboth 1/15/12/39/0 Greenwood Hills 1/1/1/4/0 Ocean City 2/2/2/4/0

Sep 14/34/5 NYC 1/1/0/0/0

Oct 12/33/3 Pittsburgh 1/2/0/0/12

Nov 15/50/4 Ocean City 1/1/1/2/0 White Twp 1/1/1/2/0

Dec 11/33/0 USVI 1/5/0/0/28 Ocean City 1/1/1/2/0 SJ 1/8/16/46/3

So my Philly total is 131 trips involving 400 legs, plus another 28 legs in which I was driven.  So that works out to about 11 car trips and 36 legs a month.  Not coincidentally, we're up to about 35,000 miles on our sole car, which we bought in April 2015.  So that works to about 7,500 miles a year, whereas it wouldn't be unusual for a two-parent suburban household to log twice that on each of their two primary cars.  As I've said before, city living is green living.

In Defense of Social Media

Go ahead and sling tomatoes at me, but I gotta say: social media is awesome.

I have trouble when people say, "ugh, social media is the worst."  To be sure, I don't believe in a completely unfettered marketplace in which social media platforms absolve themselves of responsibility, just like a store is culpable if it doesn't think through that some of the things it stocks on its shelves may be offensive enough to customers as to warrant not selling them.  I also know that cyber-bullying is real, and just like with bullies in real life, we have to stand up and say no.

But, a free society depends on us erring on the side of allowing lots of opinions and ideas and content.  Just ask your friends in China, or who are from China and now here in the US, whether it's better to have too much or too little freedom of expression.