Remembering Kobe

Like all hoop fans, I am still reeling from the news of Kobe Bryant's tragic and untimely death on Sunday in a helicopter accident.  Sudden news hits us differently when it is a public figure than a personal loved one, but I suspect that for many of us Kobe represented more than just a really famous person and all-time sports great.  The fact that I am writing a blog post just to process the news should give you an indication of where I am on this.

For people of my era, Kobe was more legend than mortal.  His basketball arc has been chronicled many times over but still belies belief.  Teen wunderkind goes pro straight out of high school, stars for the glamorous Lakers, wins five titles, and closes his career out with 60 points in his final game.  Throughout, he is feared, respected, and beloved as a competitor of the highest order, his training regimen and overall work ethic the stuff of mythology.


My favorite Kobe stories are about his being on the 2008 US Olympic team that competed in Beijing.  Heading into the Games, Kobe was not necessarily thought of, by teammates and the media, as the unquestioned alpha of the team - for example, Dwyane Wade was in his prime, and LeBron James was entering his.  But he quickly asserted that status, on account of three things that defined his basketball career.  First, he took and made the toughest shots when the game was on the line.  Second, he was far and away the most popular American athlete in China.  (Btw I am surprised at how little coverage there has been in the past couple of days about this.  We have heard about how athletes, celebs, and politicians have reacted to Kobe's passing, but I am sure that there is more and deeper grief being felt in China this week.)  And third, he worked out way harder and way more than anyone else on the team.  It's no coincidence that he is revered by NBA stars who are now the elder statesmen of the league today, guys like Wade and James and Carmelo Anthony and Chris Paul.  These guys saw just how hard and long Kobe worked on his body, and it shamed and inspired them.

But Kobe is also revered by two other groups of athletes.  One is today's young guns, for whom Kobe had served in his retirement years as a sage, prod, and yardstick.  After he had issued a series of challenges to young players via Instagram, Kobe got a request from then rising star Giannis Antetokounmpo, who also wanted a goal to strive for.  Kobe's response - "MVP" - would become prophetic, as Giannis would indeed ascend to that award not long after.  After cultivating a reputation as a villain, heel, and egomaniac during his playing career, Kobe was able to inhabit a persona that today's young bucks found accessible, inspiring, and motivating.  

Kobe also became beloved in women's basketball circles.  He may have attended more WNBA games than NBA games in his retirement, and was a huge fan and role model for countless WNBA stars.  Of course, having daughters who hoop was a big driver of this, and here I must pause as I get a little teary-eyed.  For I found his relationship with his daughters, especially Gianna, who also perished in the helicopter crash, to be so touching.  As with the mentor figure he took on with many young NBA stars who looked up to him, Kobe was able to find a way to be the best version of himself when playing the role of dad: always pushing, always instructing, but with a profound amount of tenderness and pride and love.  It will be a while before I see a photo of Kobe and Gianna without pausing to collect myself.  

It is not lost on me that an important part of the Kobe story is the 2003 Colorado sexual assault case, which was settled out of court and for which Kobe gave public apology.  For the victim of that incident, these remembrances must be difficult to take in, and any accounting of Kobe's life must also include this incident.  I do not know what it has taken or will take for healing to occur.  I do know that what we can hope for perpetrators is that they not only acknowledge that they did wrong and that they hurt others in the process, but that they change their behaviors going forward in profound and proactive ways.  And as to the latter, it does seem that Kobe has taken steps to be an advocate and an example.

This is yet another tragedy of Kobe's early passing, is missing out on all of the good he was already imparting on so many young women and men, through his direct instruction and through the example of coaching and nurturing his daughters.  My heart goes out to his wife and surviving daughters, who now have an unfathomably sized hole in their lives.  We feel a shadow of that emptiness alongside them and grieve too.