Apologetic

You can tell from the title of my blog, and from many of my posts, that I'm "one of those": a Bible-believing, God-worshipping, born-again, Jesus-following, He is the only way/truth/life Christians. You may have heard that there are a few of us around in this country. Depending on how you want to define it, you may even consider us a majority.

That majority status, or at least the perception of it, would seem to carry a certain responsibility to it, particularly since there have been plenty of instances in which that very place of privilege has been used to abuse others as well as pursue selfish gain (or at least the "gain" associated with making oneself feel good through self-righteousness). Ideally, we who believe what we believe should of all people be both unapologetic about our faith and apologetic about the ways in which that faith has been perverted to ruinous effect in our history.

Instead, I still see (and, far too often, myself harbor) the opposite: apologetic about the absoluteness of our faith, and/or unapologetic about its misuse through the years. Not surprisingly, we tend to respond to such a posture by further dividing ourselves: one group in their "holy huddle," and another group wishing all the more for freedom "from" religion.

We are all the worse for it. Christians, because we are called to engage the societies and generations and communities into which we have been sent. And all Americans, because faith and religion are such integral aspects of what makes us unique among countries and within history. Here's hoping for a little more religiosity and little more cordiality; a little more of one type of unapologeticness and a little more of another type of apologeticness.

We Got to Pray Just to Make it Today

In honor of my pastor's very good exposition of the story of the persistent widow from the 18th chapter of the gospel according to Luke yesterday, I give you a clip and an excerpt from one of MC Hammer's less well-known hits, "Pray":

Time and time and time and time again
I kept on knocking, but these people wouldn't let me in
I tried and tried and tried and tried to make a way
But nothing happened till that day I prayed
That's word, we pray (pray), ah, yeah, we pray (pray)
We got to pray just to make it today (2X)

Prayer can seem so slow and antiquated in our modern world, but all the more to still ourselves before the One who can move mountains, mend hearts, and make a way. The best of saints throughout history knew it. Even MC Hammer knew it. Would that we live it each day. Goodness knows we have more than enough that matters to us that we should be wearing out our Maker with day and night.

Man and Machine

It seems patently obvious to me, and yet how often do we overreact when it comes to technology, either exalting it as our salvation or shunning it for its inhumanness? No matter how whiz-bang it gets, it's just a tool. We can use it to become vastly more productive and effective, and we can use it to do really bad things or to become soulless; but either way, it's on us to make those choices.

Sitting smack dab in the middle of Gen X, in between the Millennials and the Boomers, I observe (and admittedly this is a gross oversimplification/stereotype) that the young'uns put their trust in the latest technology and in sheer volumes of information, without having a fully matured grasp on how to marshal, synthesize, and make sense of it all. Whereas the old'uns scorn such technocentrism, equal parts reveling in the importance of the human touch and worrying that the world is whizzing past them.

If you visit this space, you know I sometimes exhibit both extremes, and sometimes get it right by understanding how to be in the middle; but at all times I take interest in the interplay between man and machine. So it will come as no surprise that I found fascinating these two recent articles about whether and how we can marshal technology for our enhancement: "A Mini-Revolt against Computers in Chess," from Marginal Revolution, and "Clive Thompson on the Cyborg Advantage," from Wired Magazine. Enjoy the links, and let me know what you think.

I Hear Nothing

I'm not exactly sure how this happened, since lunchtime conversation at work usually features such stimulating topics as patent law, the economics of newspapers, and sugary drink tax policy, but earlier this month I was chatting with some co-workers over lunch about the Jonas Brothers. I found out that 1) there are three of them, 2) they are in fact brothers, and 3) they do in fact have the last name Jonas. (I also found out there's a "bonus Jonas," a much younger fourth brother whose music chops may exceed his older sibs.)

When I claimed I had never heard them sing, a co-worker of mine couldn't believe it. "Of course you have," as if their ubiquity made it darn near impossible for me to avoid hearing them. And yet: I don't have cable, I don't watch TV (save for blitzing through sports games), I don't listen to the radio, I don't own an iPod, and the few times I watch video clips online it is with the volume off. So when would I have ever heard the Jonas Brothers sing?

Missing out on pop culture is one thing, but I fear my "no audio intake" has deeper consequences. It took me forever to learn how to say Nicolas Sarkozy's last name correctly, I couldn't tell you what Michael Steele's or Rahm Emanuel's voice sounds like, and there's a lot of really good podcasts and music that I'm less enriched as a person for not having time or access to.

But, introvert that I am, and cluttered that my life is, I think I'll accept this diminution in my quality of life. There's nothing like, after a long day of dealing with kids and dealing with work, the serenity of sinking into bed with a good book and a whole lot of quiet. Silence, in my life, is in fact golden. Even if I'm still left to wonder what the Jonas Brothers sound like.

Doubling Down on My Sports Loyalties

The many childhood hours I spent rooting on my A's and Raiders is far in the rearview mirror, and living in Philadelphia means a steady dose of Phillies and Eagles coverage. That, plus less and less free time, has meant less and less available energy to expend in the direction of my two remaining sports loyalties.

But devotion to one's teams runs thick. And so I arise this morning with a little bit of a chip on my shoulder as a result of my teams and players receiving recent slights:

* The word on the street is that the Pittsburgh Steelers are trying to send a message to embattled quarterback Ben Roethlisberger, who has made some questionable decisions regarding his personal life, by threatening to trade him to the Raiders. Yes, the team that played in the Super Bowl barely seven years ago has become such a joke that the possibility of playing for it is now used as punishment.

* Arch villain Alex Rodriguez of the hated New York Yankees broke an unwritten rule of etiquette in baseball when, after returning to first base after a foul ball, he ran right across the pitcher's mound. A's pitcher Dallas Braden barked at him between pitches, and then, after inducing an inning-ending double play, continued to yell at Rodriguez, "Get off my mound," to which Rodriguez responded with a dismissive wave of the hand. When interviewed after the game, Rodriguez continued to be scornful: "I was a little surprised. I've never quite heard that, especially from a guy that has a handful of wins in his career. I've never even heard of that in my career and I still don't know. I thought it was pretty funny, actually." Mr. Rodriguez, you may not want to get too comfortable the next time you're in the batter's box when Mr. Braden is pitching.

Following the Phillies and Eagles in the local press has been fun, especially given their recent successes. Everybody loves a winner, and team success means good things for the city, so they have my support. But recent media coverage about how my two teams are perceived by others in their leagues reminds me where my true sports loyalties lie.

Love for Law

If you know your Bible, and even if you don't, you know that David was not only slayer of Goliath, leader of mighty men, and king of Israel; he was also a darn good poet. Here's an excerpt from one of his psalms:

"The law of the LORD is perfect, restoring the soul; the testimony of the LORD is sure, making wise the simple. The precepts of the LORD are right, rejoicing the heart; the commandment of the LORD is pure, enlightening the eyes. The fear of the LORD is clean, enduring forever; the judgments of the LORD are true; they are righteous altogether. They are more desirable than gold, yes, than much fine gold; sweeter also than honey and the drippings of the honeycomb." - Psalm 19:7-10

The remarkable thing about this paragraph is that this gushing sentiment is about books of the Bible like Leviticus, which discusses such topics as ceremonial washing and festival instruction; after all, David could not of course be including the parts of the Bible we might find more familiar and more engaging in the present day, like the New Testament or Psalms or Proverbs. How is it that the sections of the Bible that we in modern times would consider boring and repetitive are lauded so greatly by David?

My take is that David rejoiced in having instructions from God; he reveled in the direct communication from the God he so zealously pursued, but he also reveled in having detailed and tangible instruction on how he and his people were to be. It's easy to think we invented loose living, but an "anything goes" mentality predates us by a lot; one could make a strong case that there was even greater immorality back then than there is now.

And, like today, being one's own god and calling one's own shots seems to hold the promise for freedom and pleasure, but the promise is really false and fleeting. If you believe you were made by God, and that He is good and wise and personal, than His instructions are a far better way to live than whatever the world tells us or whatever we might tell ourselves.

I think this is why David so cherished the law of God. We might read the paragraph I excerpted above and extrapolate to our own lives our fascination with the gripping drama of certain famous Bible stories, the eloquence of Psalms and Proverbs, the force of the prophets, or the accounts of Jesus' life. But what I think it means to apply that paragraph to our lives is not as much a love for those aspects of the Bible but rather the more instructional ones; that as David was glad in his heart because, in an "anything goes" world, he had directions from his Maker as to how to live right, so do we, in our "anything goes" world, have directions from our Maker as to how to live right.

In an urban and urbane setting, our decision to not only accept but glory in God's instruction can seem as odd as David's gushing words about books like Leviticus. But it only goes to show how much we have bought into the lie that the best way to live life is on our own terms, by our own wisdom, and according to no one's moral code but the one we have made for ourselves and for our own pleasure. From that perspective, it seems quaint at best and misguided at worst to be stuck within the construct of a set of old instructions. But we who know our Maker, and know Him to be good and wise and personal, know differently; we know that it is within that construct that true freedom and life and pleasure exists, and instead so we glory in those instructions and in the Giver of them.

My Roots

I’m a long way, geographically and metaphorically, from my roots – Taiwan is well over 10,000 miles away from Philly, and my parents had been in the US for few years before I arrived on the scene – but those roots still largely define who I am. It’s hard to say whether it’s the Taiwaneseness or the immigration experience of my parents, but I find that the following three core values are indelibly hard-wired into me:

1) Waste nothing. Whether it is natural resources, objects, food, time, or money, you don’t waste anything. You just don’t.

2) Work hard and don’t complain. If something isn’t fair, you don’t whine about it or try to change it; you just work extra hard to overcome it.

3) All for family. Everything you do is for the good of the family. The worst possible thing you can do in life is bring shame to your family.

Having come to the Christian faith relatively late in my life (in my late teens), and now living in a very different sort of milieu than my formative childhood years (urban East Coast, vs. suburban West Coast), there have been moments in which these ingrained traits represented positive things I was glad to have hammered into me. And, there have been moments in which they represented negative things I had to actively work against in order to do what I thought was the right thing to do.

As a parent, I think often of whether my kids will be ready to make tough choices when they come to the inflection points scattered along the journey of their lives. What sorts of core values will their lives under my watch leave them with? Will they learn to understand the subtle balance between healthy socialization on the one hand, and knowing when not to give into peer pressure on the other hand? And will they know when to hold fast to what they’ve learned from Amy and me, and when to break from those hard-wired traits as needed?

I believe in a Great Author who is able – despite the corrupting influences of the enemy of our souls, a darkening world, and our own perverted nature – to send us on a breathtaking life trajectory, one in which every incident can be used for good, every wound healed, every plot line pointing to glory. Mine happens to include Taiwanese and immigrant roots; and, so far, those roots have intertwined in a lot of places in my life narrative. I hope for eyes and ears open enough, and life long enough, to take in where else they will intersect, what roots my kids are forming, and where those roots will take them on their journeys.

A Tale of Two Cities' Parking Spaces

Two cities, one problem, two solutions. The cities are San Francisco and New York City, and the problem is the traffic engendered by drivers circling around looking for a parking spot. A start-up in New York City has set up a system whereby people vacating a free spot can send out an alert, and someone on the other end can pay five bucks to claim the soon to be available spot. The City of San Francisco, on the other hand, just did its first parking space census, and is rigging its whole system to make space availability available in real-time; but the special sauce in all this is the data collection, which will eventually allow them to make parking rates more efficient and higher.

The perversity of all this is that, even in two of the most expensive real estate markets in the country, where land trades at such a premium when it relates to human use, you can find patches of that same land to use for free for car use. Which leads to wildly inefficient behavior with all sorts of negative externalities: in the hunt for the scarce resource that is free parking, drivers add all sorts of costs to those around them via the emissions they belch out and the congestion they add to as they circle endlessly. Price that correctly via higher and more market-sensitive rates, and everyone wins.

Songs From the Life of Amy and Lee: The First Ten Years

Shmoop, we've come a long way since April 15, 2000. As has technology: yesterday's mix tape is now today's YouTube playlist. Um, I don't actually know how to set up a YouTube playlist, so here's the next best thing: a list of links. Some of these songs will make you smile, while others will make your shake your head and smack your forehead. This list, in other words, is a lot like me.

To those who have supported us through ten years and counting of marriage, thank you and God bless you. Ten years ago, we handed out CDs of our favorite songs as wedding favors; ten years later, here's what I would put on such a CD if we repeated the exercise. Enjoy. (And smile and smack your forehead along with my lovely wife.)

Elijah - Rich Mullins
Sunrise of Your Smile - Michael Card
Trust - Sixpence None the Richer
Prayer - Petra

100 Years - Five for Fighting
Forever Young - Alphaville
All Together Now - The Farm
Streets of Philadelphia - Bruce Springsteen

theme song from Scrubs
theme song from Family Ties
theme song from Arrested Development
theme song from Family Guy

We're Ready - Boston
Underneath Your Clothes - Shakira
Two is Better Than One - Boys Like Girls
Don't Be Stupid - Shania Twain

Miss Independent - Kelly Clarkson
The Climb - Miley Cyrus
Fighter - Christina Aguilera
If You Seek Amy - Britney Spears

I Like to Move It Move It - Ali G
Life is a Highway - Rascal Flatts
I Gotta Feeling - Black Eyed Peas
Dream On - Aerosmith

Pruning and Prioritizing

An observant friend of mine detected more than a little stress and weariness in my look the other day and asked me what was up. In my typically unverbose way, I succinctly summarized why I was feeling so maxed out: "Most people who have small kids with extra needs don't work as much as I do, and most people who work as much as I do don't have small kids with extra needs."

I wish I had some blazing insight to offer this morning, some noble nugget about how I have learned to say no and set boundaries and realize what is really important in life. Honestly, while I have a ways to go in all of those areas, I think I'm doing pretty good. I just think it's hard to truly balance work and family.

The title of this post gives you some hint as to what I think good balancers do in response. Pruning and prioritizing are obvious tasks for the person who is pressed from all sides. But easier said than done: everything our lives consist of seems important, difficult to relegate to the back burner or to not doing at all.

Especially if you want to avoid what I feel are to two particularly annoying responses to having too full a plate. First is the "I have learned to delegate to others and so I focus on doing only what only I can do." If you know me, you know that I am a huge believer in delegating and am a very good delegator, so to be sure, it's a big help. But it can also be an excuse to pile on poor spouses and co-workers and neighbors, not do your fair share, and gain the reputation of the clueless slacker. Second is the "I have learned I can't fight every battle; it helps no one to be spread too thin." That there is a whole heckuva lot of truth in that statement does not disguise the fact that it can be a disguise for absolving us from having to care about things and people we know we ought to care about but would rather not have to care about.

Again, I regret there is no tidy ending to this post, no pithy lesson, no "aha" moment I have been building suspense for to now spring on you at the end. I wish it were so. For it would mean I had a better handle on the pruning and prioritizing that is needed to balance work and family. But I don't; and so I stumble along, doing what I can as well as I can, trusting that the rest can wait, and putting it in the hands of One who Himself rested after six days of work and who commands/invites me to rest as well.

Non-Profits, Present and Future

The Philadelphia Foundation, our region's community foundation, will always hold a dear place in my heart, as it was the first major funder of the youth program I founded in 1997. But, beyond their generosity, over the years I have come to appreciate the hearts and minds of the good people that work there. My admiration is greatest for their president, Andrew Swinney, who has been kind enough to meet with me on a regular basis and share some of his insights on the non-profit and philanthropy worlds.

Among other topics, Andrew shares my concern for the issue of succession planning within non-profits of all sizes. Almost by definition, and usually for good purposes, an executive director becomes the organization, as he or she sacrifices greatly to define, lead, and fundraise for it. This melding makes for good branding, but it also makes it hard for both leader and organization to detach, when it comes time for transition. So it takes a great deal of humility on his or her part, as well as a supportive board and outside expertise, to make sure that good thing doesn't become a deterrent to cultivating a broader base of leadership for the future.

Nancy Kolb at the Please Touch Museum and Jane Pepper at the Pennsylvania Horticultural Society are two illustrative examples, in my opinion and from my perspective, of thoughtful leaders who disengaged themselves from their respective organizations in ways that were fruitful and humble and edifying. Here are two local icons, who became synonymous with their organizations, demonstrating tireless commitment to their missions, and achieving remarkable results as a result; and yet, they have been mindful that future leadership needed to be cultivated, and were able to leave their organizations in great shape for life after their leadership.

Would that there were more of this kind of stewardship of organizations and of leadership roles. Check out two recent reports by the Philadelphia Foundation, the first on the impact of non-profits in the region, and the second on governance issues like succession planning, to inform yourself about this important issue. For if non-profits are a big deal around here (and they are), and if leadership transitions are difficult to manage (and they are), then that means we have to keep our eye on this issue, as it will affect the quality and quantity of our performing arts, our human services, and all of the other services rendered by these important entities to all of us in the region.

Lazy Linking, The 'Links to the Past' Version Redux

Here's a continuation from last week's post, which also linked to past posts of mine that I found particularly fun to read in retrospect. Between these two posts, and a series of posts around the Christmas holidays in 2008, that's all the "links to the past" lazy linking I can probably do, as now I'm up to the present era (as defined by having my posts automatically fed into my Facebook account, where it seems they are read more often than on my blog itself).

2006 June 6 - I want to have to pay more for gas and for property taxes.

2006 July 31 - Good churches tell their members to get less involved.

2006 August 15 - I think this was my first "what am I working on" post.

2006 September 2 - There is no such thing as shelter on this side of glory.

2006 October 13 - It's not hard to scrounge up enough money to support an orphan in Africa.

2006 November 10 - Urban trees make for good economics.

2007 January 24 - Riding transit is good for your soul.

2007 May 29 - Mother Nature performs $33 trillion worth of services for mankind each year.

2007 July 18 - Who do I give to and why.

2007 September 29 - My faith and my economics both tell me we can't leave anyone out.

2007 October 27 - What transit-oriented development and following Jesus Christ have in common.

2007 November 4 - Me and the kids do a little local campaigning.

Urban Triathlon

After getting a few miles in on the treadmill first thing in the morning earlier this week, I really put my legs to work: I biked Jada to school and then, because of the craziness of that day's schedule, ended up biking to my first meeting, biking from my last meeting, and biking Jada home. In between, I got a good chunk of walking in, going from different meeting places, to the point that I think I ended up logging about 3 miles by foot and 6 miles by wheels. Now if I could have just worked taking a dunk in the Schuylkill, I would have been able to say I completed an urban triathlon, Philly style.

As it was, what I could say was that by the end of the day, I was beat: Jada's not the little peanut she once was, and I've grown considerably as well, particularly around the waist area. It didn't help that it was blazing hot and I was wearing a black sports coat. But hey, after multiple feet of snow and endlessly bitter cold days, I'll take walking and biking outside with great pleasure. (Although that dunk in the Schuylkill sure sounds good on hot days like that.)

Four Key Questions

The business schools will tell you that succeeding in the marketplace is about your product. Or else it’s putting your customer first. Unless it’s beating your competition. Well, it has to be one of those.

Unless it’s something else. I submit to you that running a successful business does require a deeper understanding of product, customer, and competition. But, deeper than that, you have to figure out your identity in the marketplace. And that comes from answering questions like:

* Purpose – Why do we exist?

* Values – What are the non-negotiable things that subconsciously govern our day-to-day activities?

* Stretch goals – Where do we want to be five years from now, which would represent milestones that demonstrate we went in the right direction and at the right speed?

* Anthology – What are the defining stories that get passed on from generation to generation, that tell the next generation something of who we are and who we want to be?

I’ve been thinking about these four things as it relates to the organizations I am a part of: my job, my boards, my church, even my family as a unit. It’s been a fun exercise to peel away to these core questions. I encourage you to do the same, and let’s share what we come up with; when I get further along in my own musings, I may post my answers to those questions for the groups I affiliate with.

The Enterprise Center at Work, But Not at The Enterprise Center

Hats off to The Enterprise Center for another great event yesterday. Only this one wasn't at its storied facility, but at the Convention Center downtown: "Stimulus Opportunities Seminar in Phila. Draws 900 Minority Businesses." I attended, and soaked in the energy of the whole thing, as well as the glow of an event well-conceived and well-run. Kudos all around!

School in the City

There was a nice story in the Inky yesterday about the elementary school Jada will be going to starting this fall, in which I am quoted as a prospective parent doing what I can to make sure my daughter gets a coveted spot in kindergarten: "Penn Neighborhood Blooms Around a Top School." I feel fortunate that one of the big question marks to committing to urban living - will I be able to send my kids to a good school - has an easy answer in our case. The economics and socio-economics of school in the city is that it's not easy to find places that are good, cheap, AND available. But we've hardly had to settle for one or two out of three.

In fact, everywhere we've turned, God has taken care of us:

* Jada's first school was on the recommendation of three parents from our church; though it was relatively steep, we lucked into the school's best teacher, so found it worth the dough.

* Jada's second school (and Aaron's first) was actually run out of a woman's house; it was a great combination of being dirt cheap and high-touch.

* Jada's third school (and Aaron's second) was also dirt cheap, and a little rough, but we were pleased to find the people there just golden, and so it worked for us.

* Aaron still goes to that school, as well as to his "circle" school, which has been good for his behavioral issues and has the nice benefit of being completely free to us because of insurance (and he gets picked up by a yellow school bus, to boot).

* Jada's fourth school (and where Aaron will go starting in the fall) is acclaimed citywide, and has been a godsend for Jada, given her verbal challenges. And, unbeknownest to us, we qualify for their "Pre-K Counts" program, which means the Commonwealth picks up a large part of the tab, making this otherwise pricey option relatively affordable.

And, Jada's fifth school, which I'll hope to successfully enroll Aaron into in 21 months, is also acclaimed citywide, and, as a public school, is free. There's even a really good after-school program right on the same campus that they can go to without us having to schlep them to it.

In other words, we've been fortunate all throughout as we've tried to make decisions to live in the city and provide what our kids need. Particularly as I hear of my friends' agonies over schooling options, I realize how much easier it's been for Amy and me, and I am thankful to God for it.

The Death of Death in the Death of Jesus

Easter can be a fun holiday when you have little kids. You can dress them up in fancy clothes and take lots of pictures, hide plastic eggs with candy and money in them and film them when they scour the room in search of them, and even let go a little when it comes to chocolate consumption. Even if you're into the religion stuff, it can be an easy and breezy weekend, what with triumphant hymns and inspiring sermons and oh-so-cute attempts by the little ones to sing resurrection songs.

But I am reminded of the true meaning of Easter every time I talk to a friend of mine who suffered a great loss on Easter many years ago, and for whom Easter is not a happy occasion but an annual marker of that life-altering devastation. I try to make sure to check in with him around this time of the year each year, just to see how he's doing, and to be with him as he mourns. Some years we talk, and some years there is silence; but every year is painful, and I don't get the sense that the pain has abated any over time.

I apologize for the intentional blurriness in details here, I hope you'll understand. But the point is that life can sometimes be cruelly painful. It is impossible to sail through without getting bit, given that we are all human, and prone to sin and to be sinned against. And some wounds are far deeper than others, shattering lives and making it seem impossible to pick up the countless jagged pieces and be made whole again ever.

It is not in most peoples' worldview to consider the life of a once-popular itinerant preacher man, who met his end by the cruel means of the contemporary powers he was unable to overthrow, and evaluate it as triumphant. Nor is it in many peoples' worldview to believe in an enemy of our souls, who takes twisted delight in the wreckage that he wreaks on our lives and that we wreak on each others' lives.

But this is my worldview. I cannot maintain a veneer of moral acceptability in my own life, nor can I explain away the corruption in my soul and in humanity. This may seem unnecessarily pessimistic, but I believe it to be realistic: there is no hope for mankind, or for me, again the enemy of our souls and the sickle called death that he wields with cruel efficiency. On any given day, he does not always strike a fatal blow, but he can leave us mortally wounded; and my friend is but one among a carnage of broken souls who have been thusly pierced.

But the tomb was empty that day. Which I believe to mean that the death of Jesus was actually the death of death. For me, for my friend, for any who have been pierced, and left in vain to pick up the pieces of a shattered life, our wounded state is not the final outcome. If there was no resurrection, there is no hope; but if there was a resurrection, then death is not the end, and nor is the brokenness that leads to death. For the empty tomb is a down payment that keeps us until that glorious day when the enemy of our souls will be vanquished once and for all, our wounds healed for good, and the limitations which keep us from true living finally and forever removed.

And so I tell myself that I will hang in there. And I tell my friend that I will hang in there with him. And I tell the enemy of our souls that he may have gotten his swings in, but he is doomed to being cut down one glorious day. And until that glorious day, I myself will get my swings in, against death and for life, in the confidence that death will soon be defeated and He that defeated death by His death will soon triumph. Because that is what Easter is meant to mean.

Lazy Linking, The 'Links to the Past' Version

I'll be going largely off the grid this weekend so wanted to leave you with some blasts from the past: these aren't necessarily my best blog posts from February 2003 to May 2006, but ones I found fun to read with hindsight as perspective. I hope you enjoy them too.

2003 February 2: My first post.

2003 March 14: Should we go to war in Iraq? I said yes.

2003 March 22: My first rant about people who rant about high gas prices.

2003 August 15: What did I learn from my year away from the office?

2003 August 14: Who killed Jesus? God did.

2004 June 23: Urban Christians should take a lesson from Buffy and Spiderman.

2004 September 19: Musings on my first day of grad school.

2004 December 12: My eulogy for my best friend.

2005 March 23: I estimate that living in a city saves me $1800+.

2005 May 29: I joined Facebook and was fascinated by its functionality. I still am.

2005 November 7: I would like to pay triple what I currently pay in property taxes.

2006 May 11: I prepare to start a new job, only the second in my post-college life, at Econsult.

Day 3 Agenda: Thinking About a Mother and About a Son

My one-meal fast this week came and went without much fanfare. The point of fasting, at least in my life, is to clear out some space for solitary contemplation and connection to God; but my life is so cluttered that even my attempts to do this contain far too much intervening stuff. I am going to have to work on this.

Anyway, when my mind was not wandering to the many things that make up my life today, I could not help but lock in on a couple of themes. First is my mother, who continues along in her healing from a car accident last summer. The journey for her has been two steps forward, two steps backward, which means alternating hope and than despair for all of us who are rooting her on. It is particularly dissonant as well as poignant to observe someone, who has helped me and others so selflessly, herself now be so helpless and so beholden to the care of others. I pray for her often, and hope for days that are not filled with medications and hospitals and solitude and procedures, but rather that allow for some semblance of activity and socializing and celebration and happiness.

Second, not surprisingly given the festivities of the week, I have been considering the journey of Jesus. Here is One who knew that the purpose of His living was to die; who came from and would go to a place of ultimate exaltation, and yet in the middle bore the degradation of being misunderstood, condemned, shamed, and executed. I may know the Savior, but I know little of His courage, endurance, or focus, nor of His willingness to trade in self-preservation for the fulfillment of the mission to which His Father had called Him.

I fall very short of a posture that says, "If it is possible, take this cup from me; yet not my will but Yours." I do not often live as though I know the answer to Jesus' question, "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul?" None other than John the Baptist - a man sold-out for Jesus if there ever was one - felt compelled to say, "He must increase; I must decrease" - and I too want to get myself and my selfishness and my shallow agendas out of His way that my life might consist of weightier and more eternal matters. Which is why fasting is so good, at least for me; it is a physical emptying and filling that evokes a deeper, spiritual emptying and filling. Would that there be more of that in my life, and if fasting can facilitate that, would that there be more of that as well.

Let Kids Be Luddites

Mashing up two of my recent musings, about not wanting to be technology tethered at all times and about wanting my kids to have space to just be kids, I present to you today’s musing, which is on the benefit of not letting kids get too gadget-crazy at a young age.

I must confess that I had a moment of panic, when my friend was moaning to me about how his five-year-old daughter was constantly stealing off with his iPhone so she could watch movies on the little screen in the comfort of her bed, about how technologically challenged my kids are. It’s only been recently, as a result of school, that Jada knows how to use a mouse, and only in very simplified kid-friendly interfaces at that; she wouldn’t be able to navigate a web browser or get herself to and around Nickelodeon or PBS Kids by herself. And Aaron, at age 3, hasn’t even touched a computer: his sole interaction with technology has been staring at the monitor while Amy tends to crops on Farmville on Facebook. Neither of my kids has ever used a laptop, PDA, or mp3 player, and they’re still not quite sure how cell phones work, as they don’t have conversations with their relatives with it as much as they point and giggle that an otherwise familiar voice is coming out of a little piece of metal.

But my moment of panic has long since passed, and I accept and even embrace my kids’ lack of technology in their lives. Perhaps I am dooming my kids to a childhood of quizzical looks and ostracization, given how engrained technology has become in the lives of our young people today, in terms of entertainment and communication and information. But maybe there is a counterargument: a friend of mine recently sent me to an online article about the importance of physical play in early childhood development. There will be time later for learning about computers and the Internet and information technologies, once they are actually useful in education and for future vocational training; for now, I want my kids to play with real dolls and real trucks and real trees and real soccer balls.

Of course, soon enough, Jada will discover that there is a new Dora doll that you can plug into your computer and virtually manipulate, and she will want it, and I will have to disappoint her. Play with your real dolls for now, my child; you can worry about technology stuff later.

A Roof Spill

In case you were wondering about yesterday's post about moving to the suburbs, I tried to leave as obvious a clue as possible: "a roof spill" is an anagram for "April Fool's." Gotcha! (Amy and Lee exchange high-fives.)

Moving News

So, this is a little embarrassing, since: a) I try to be pretty transparent about what I'm mulling over, b) this blog is called "Musings of an Urban Christian," and c) I have used this space to sing the praises of urban settings and take not-so-subtle digs at suburban places. But I wanted to let everyone know that Amy and I are moving to the burbs.

We have been thinking on this for awhile now; for all of Philly's positives, the negatives have just been wearing on us. And the kids have been pestering for a yard to romp in. Finally, and let's try to keep this piece of information from prospective buyers, but our house has an issue that we'd rather not have to deal with. Let's just call it "a roof spill."

So, covertly, we've been looking at houses out on the Main Line, not thinking we could afford anything out there. And, lo and behold, something came up that was perfect: within our price range, good school district, white picket fence.

So, as much as it pains me to withdraw our spot at our great neighborhood school, and as much as the drive in is going to stress me out: suburbia, here we come. I'll tell you more tomorrow.