Lazy Linking, 58th in an Occasional Series

Stuff I liked lately on the Internets:

58.1. Stop the presses - in Philadelphia, the protesters and police have both been polite.

58.2. Clever use of a vacant lot in downtown Philadelphia.

58.3. Really, really, really inappropriate Halloween costumes for kids.

58.4. How do you like your eggs - fried, scrambled, or cross-stitched?

58.5. He won two national championships, earned a Heisman Trophy, and brought his team back from 15 down with three minutes in his first NFL start, but his greatest achievement is to make something go viral that has to do with prayer . . . ladies and gentlemen, Tim Tebow! (Btw, Albert Pujols did a "Tebow" after the final out of the World Series. Here's a nice article about the faith of Tebow and Albert Pujols.)

Snow Stopper

It took a freak weather event - snow accumulation in October - to secure me a nap on a Saturday afternoon, my first in several weeks. The combination of a busy social schedule and many things on my house to-do list meant I was forgoing that precious luxury many consecutive weekends, and my body was starting to feel it.

Yesterday was to be no different: after the kids' soccer practices, maybe a family dip in the pool, lunch at Mickey D's, some canvassing for my City Council candidate friend, and one last trip to the zoo before our membership expires. At that rate, we were looking at straight activities until dinner, after which bedtime (theirs) and bedtime (mine) were sure to follow.

But with the rain coming down in increasingly sleety versions, we decided to cut our Y time short, and headed straight home for baths and lunch after soccer practice. The kids retired upstairs for "room time" (translation: I don't care what you do, just be quiet) and then TV, and after a few errands around the house, I decided to head to my preferred nap spot (purple room couch) and was soon fast asleep.

Neither wild horses nor two increasingly boisterous kids could rouse me from my stupor. It wasn't a great nap - too uncomfortable, too much noise, not nearly long enough - but given the dry spell I've been on, I'll take it. After so much go go go, it was good to stop for a bit. Even if it took snow in October to do it.

Making Something out of Nothing in the City

It was nice to see our vacant land report from last year get mentioned by Mayor Nutter in his press conference earlier this week about cracking down on owners of run-down properties. The analytics of our report were pretty complex but the narrative, and the public policy ramifications, are quite simple: vacant land imposes a steep cost on City government and on residents of the City. Although real estate markets are still on edge, there's still developers and homebuyers out there, so it makes sense for the City to do what it can to make it easier for dilapidated buildings to get converted into nice new homes. (Here's one example in Bella Vista, courtesy of Naked Philly.)

It has always been depressing for me, ever since I first arrived in Philadelphia 20 years ago, to see block after block and property after property of blight, abandonment, and emptiness. But the City is now replete with dynamic examples of turnaround. And all those vacant parcels that are left are assets in someone's eyes, who sees the possibility and is willing to make it reality. Kudos to the City for stepping up to make this happen more.

Green Mile

I've said it before but I'll say it again: land use patterns that allow for easy non-car accessibility on common trips are far more impactful for the environment than other so-called "green" practices. That most Americans don't think twice about firing up a two-ton steel box, waiting for it to heat up, and then driving it all of five minutes to pick up a gallon of milk or drop off dry-cleaning is disastrous for our ecological balance, to say nothing of the economic and geo-political ramifications of our oil consumption.

This is one of the reasons I've grown quite fond of living where we live. Consider how much we access often that is within a mile of our house, or an easy 15-minute walk:

* My place of employment for 15 out of the 16 years I've had a job.
* Amy's place of employment for 5 out of the 14 years she's had a job.
* An Ivy League school where we've gotten a combined two undergrad and two grad degrees.
* Where Jada has gone to school 5 out of 6 years.
* Where Aaron has gone to school 3 out of 4 years.
* Where we have been going to church the last 15 years.
* Where we all exercise at the YMCA.
* And, of course, three subway stops and countless trolley and bus stops to get us to places further away than walking distance.

This list doesn't include the manifold retail, food, recreational, and other amenities we commonly access. Live, work, play, and worship, all without a car. That's why inner city Philadelphia, which you may instinctively associate with grime, is actually quite green.

These Two Junior Campaigners Say Vote for David Oh

What's the secret to pitching a Republican candidate in a Democrat neighborhood? Bring my two cute kids along with me when I go door-to-door. Jada wasn't feeling well, so we only hit a small sliver of the coverage area David Oh's campaign office assigned to me; the rest will have to wait until next weekend. But even though our route was cut way short, the kids got into it, and their friends whose houses we visited were also intrigued about what we were doing with our Saturday afternoon.

So hopefully we'll have time and energy to complete our task next weekend. In the meantime, I urge you to vote for David Oh for City Council at Large on November 1. Aaron and Jada think you should, too.

I Would Rather Be Living in Philadelphia

Comedian W.C. Fields once quipped that his tombstone would read "Here lies W.C. Fields / I would rather be living in Philadelphia." (Also said of his place of birth: "I once spent a year in Philadelphia, I think it was on a Sunday.") I called this to mind when, earlier this week, a few of my co-workers came into my office and, noticing how stressed out I looked, asked what was wrong. When I said that, in the midst of a lot of work-related deadlines, I would have to go to the U.S. Virgin Islands for three days for a business trip, they howled in mock empathy.

I was quick to say that I was looking forward to the trip, that the gigs we have down there are interesting and my business partner there a dear friend, and that, yes, I suppose it was foul of me to complain about a trip to St. Thomas. I even took an unfair dig at Scranton by saying that I was relieved because had I not been booked for my Virgin Islands trip, I would have been pressed into service as a fill-in speaker at a conference in Scranton.

But invariably I would end our conversations with, "Well, all else equal, I'd rather be in Philadelphia." Travel is fun for me. I like a lot of aspects of it, it usually means an interesting assignment or speaking engagement, and I am always the better for it. But, with two small kids and a working wife and many to-do's on the work, home, and other fronts, taking even three days (I flew out first thing in the morning on Tuesday and returned after midnight on Thursday) can blow up an already messy schedule, and can pile weariness on top of my current weariness.

It was a mixed blessing that, while I was in St. Thomas, I didn't even get to sniff a beach or go for a dip in the water. I sure could have used the relaxation, but on the other hand I wanted to minimize my time away from home and therefore maximize my work productivity while I was away. Yes, it has come to this: I flew all the way to the Caribbean and didn't take a single moment to chill.

At any rate, I'm certainly not complaining about getting to make this trip. But, I agree with W.C. Fields: I'd rather be living in Philadelphia.

Asian Sensation

I am an upper-middle-class Asian American born in America, and many of my friends and family fit this description as well. You can find large concentrations of us in places like Southern California, Boston, and Manhattan, and especially a lot of them in Silicon Valley, where I used to live. You don't find many of us where I now live, which is inner city West Philadelphia.

And this poses a challenge for my kids and me. (My wife, who is Caucasian, faces her own challenges, namely that people can't get their heads wrapped around the fact that she is a white girl with an Asian last name. But that's a story for another time.) Namely, that because the vast majority of Asian looking people around here are much more connected to their countries of origin, and almost certainly likely to speak a non-English language at home, perhaps exclusively. My kids and I, in contrast, have a much weaker connection to our respective countries of origin, and English is by far our dominant language, the few words Jada knows in Mandarin barely outstripped by my own limited vocabulary. (Give me a couple of weeks using my rusty Taiwanese and it can be resurrected, but how many Taiwanese speakers are around here to get me there?)

So we find ourselves a little bit in the middle in terms of our identity. It's a strange sensation. Many Asians I have encountered around here wonder aloud why my kids can't and don't speak anything but English, and sometimes they're not very nice about this. Meanwhile, many non-Asians I have encountered are unable to make any distinction between us and other Asians whose lives couldn't be more different than ours. It's a far cry from places like California and Texas and Hawaii, where second and third and fourth generation Asians are prevalent and so there is a lot of latitude to be lots of different levels of separation from the Asian continent and culture and language.

I'm not necessarily complaining, although I likely get a higher share of racist and ignorant comments than my Silicon Valley counterparts from people who just have no category for an Asian looking person than a few prominent stereotypes from pop culture. It just makes things a little different for us. For two kids who will have to deal with the fact that they were adopted, this is just another flavor to swallow. The fact that I'm also Asian probably helps. And the fact that where we live is such a melting pot also probably helps. But the fact that there aren't a whole lot of Asians like us, and that there are a whole lot of Asians not like us, probably complicates things.

You're Invited to Sunday School (Especially if You're Not a Christian)

With the departure of my dear friend and our interim pastor to the mission field, I have been asked to fill in on the remaining sessions of our Sunday School class called "The Reason for God." The class involves watching and discussing a DVD of a discussion between acclaimed New York City pastor Tim Keller and a bunch of non-Christians about faith and religion. I have participated since the inception of this class earlier this fall, and have enjoyed and have been encouraged and challenged by the discussion. Young Christians, old Christians, and non-Christians have taken turns sharing and probing about such things as whether Christianity is a myth, what we make of Christianity's claims to be the absolute way to God, and how we feel about all these rules.

Over the next few weeks, we'll be covering the following ground: (1) Why is there so much suffering in the world; how can a good God allow so much evil; (2) Why is there so much injustice in the world; how come so many Christians are hypocrites; and (3) How can God be loving and yet send people to hell. The class starts at 9:30a and runs for about 50 minutes, and is held in Kirk Hall, which you can get to by entering the Pine Street entrance of our church at 42nd and Pine Streets. You need not attend the morning worship service which takes place in our sanctuary starting at 10:30a.

As someone who did not grow up in the church, I have appreciated the comments by non-Christians in the DVD and in our discussion. I guess even though I have now been a Christian longer than I have not, I still consider myself somewhat of an outsider looking in. Or, perhaps more specifically, I inherently prefer to weigh arguments rather than just accept them without investigation. If you are like that, or if you are curious, or if you are seeking, you should come to the class. If anything, your presence will make me feel less nervous leading.

Church Family

Alas, our interim pastor for the past two years is leaving to serve with his family in the Dominican Republic. This was his second stint at our church - during his first, he officiated my wedding and counseled me, and throughout his life he and his family have been a huge blessing to us - and he will be dearly missed.

On his last Sunday, I took care to take some photos and video, and was struck after looking at everything afterwards how much of a real family our church family is. You'll see that we're a pretty motley crew, and if you spend any amount of time with us you'll see we're not always sweet to one another. But isn't that how family is?

Above it all, there is love and warmth (and always a lot of food, it seems), and above that is a God who knit together a bunch of people I'm pretty sure wouldn't have been found on the same block together, let alone pouring our lives out to one another. Now that's what I call a church family.

Lazy Linking, 57th in an Occasional Series

Stuff I liked on the Internets lately:

57.1. Darn those sinister Chinese for artificially devaluing their currency and increasing all Americans' well-being by making goods cheaper for us to buy. We really ought to stop this. Let's look righteous by calling out China for their transgression, slapping on protectionist measures that make things more expensive for all of us and that incite a trade war. Yeah, this is what counts as courage and rational thinking in Washington.

57.2. What is the real economic impact of sports? Not jobs created by the construction and operation of stadiums, you silly; rather, it's the happiness we derive from rooting for our teams and following the scores.

57.3. Four national transportation experts weigh in on whether to invest in more bicycle infrastructure.

57.4. What Guy Kawasaki learned from Steve Jobs. I am reminded of my favorite Jobs quote: "it's not their [customers'] job to know what they want."

57.5. Megan McArdle wonders about "The Declining Hotness of Flight Attendants." Isn't it also that all women, including attractive ones, have many more viable career options now than 40 years ago?

57.6. Global warming, once so hot a topic. On a related note, Jon Huntsman's reward for being the only sensible adult in the Republican discussion is having zero buzz around his candidacy.

57.7. Do you ever doodle in spirals? So does this guy, only his turn into incredible pieces of art.

57.8. Cheese or font? Harder than you think. [Hat tip: kottke.org.]

57.9. Darn those wonky traders and their computerized algorithms, right? Oh wait, they actually help the market.

57.10. This article is a little too simplistic but no less true: it's time for men to grow up. [Hat tip: Desiring God.]

Room for Occupy

It's popular in my circles to thumb a snobby nose at the "Occupy" crew. Get a job, take a shower, what do you want, why blame Wall Street, is this just an excuse to chill and play the bongos. You've heard all that, and maybe said or thought some of it. I know I have.

I'm certainly not justifying any behavior or seconding any positions here. Believe it or not, though, I do harbor some sympathy. Right or wrong, in this country people have a right to feel unhappy about the direction and rules of our country, and to want to express that unhappiness. There is a healthy sense of entitlement (and, I know that word is often used pejoratively, but here I mean it in a very positive sense, in that we are guaranteed certain rights) about feeling like every opinion counts, and about being able to voice that opinion and have that mean something.

In short, while you may reject the message and the media, if you are an American it should sadden you that the "Occupy" crew feels a very real feeling of disenfranchisement, that there is an anger or a sense of betrayal and no real channel or lever for change. One may argue that all it takes to get politically involved is a little effort, and that vilifying Wall Street and painting clever protest signs is just an easy cop-out way, and there is some validity to it. But a democracy ought to have easier on-ramps to participation, and if the common person feels these on-ramps are unavailable or closed off to them, there's probably some truth to that.

Let me assure that you that, despite the sense that "we the people" feel like we have less power than we should, we are still uniquely empowered in the world and even in our history. The rest of the world longs for the participatory democracy we take for granted. And, as much as we want to romanticize our founding fathers, power is much more distributed now than it was in our earliest days as a nation. Remember that way back when many blacks were enslaved, and that women only got a chance to vote in 1920. And it will come as no surprise that, despite how much money plays a role in our elections today, things were far less egalitarian in elections in the distant past.

Of course, just because we're better doesn't mean we're perfect. And so the "Occupy" crew laments at our very real imperfections. And I give them room to do so. And, in my own, different way, I lament too. Although even in the lament, I rejoice, for I live in a country that strives towards that perfection, or, to borrow a phrase from the first line of our founding document, I revel in the fact that we are a people about the desire "to form a more perfect union." What a country.

Stephen Covey Would Be Proud

I'd rather not say how many projects I'm juggling now at work, because I want every one of my clients to think that they are my only focus. Which they are, during the time I am working for them; I'm not a multi-tasker as much as I am a serial single-tasker.

But I am in fact juggling a fair amount of work at work right now. For someone who is as organized and compartmentalized as I am, this can make for high stress levels. Stephen Covey would be proud of how I keep up. He is the author of the bestselling "The Seven Habits of Highly Successful People" and a bunch of offshoot books. One of his suggestions that I particularly liked was to look at your work in one-week increments, figure out for each project what was necessary to do that week, and make sure you made time to do that necessary thing, no matter what else came up.

So on Friday nights, after the kids are safely in bed, I do just that. It helps me to pace the week ahead so that I am neither needlessly scrambling (at the detriment of the quality of the work) nor hopelessly behind (at the detriment of deadlines clients have asked for work to be done by). And it brings a nice closure to the week just past, as once I have organized myself in this way I can let go and enjoy the rest of the weekend.

I'm not saying this is how it best works for others. But it seems to work for me. Now if I can just figure out a way to create an eighth day to get to everything that doesn't fit into the other seven days.

Life's a Grind

I got some somewhat troubling news at my last dental appointment. After a cursory check of my X-rays, the hygenist, who I am used to discussing such matters as "how often do you floss" and "we have a little plaque on the bottom right that you should take better care of," said, "You have some bone loss in your jaw." It turns out that where my teeth are rooted, there's less bone mass around it than before. In other words, if I don't take good care of my gums, and even if I do, my teeth could start falling out in a few decades if not sooner.

The hygenist suggested I get a mouth guard for nighttime, because she saw my teeth were worn down and suspected that I grind my teeth at night when I sleep. This is entirely possible.

Alternatively or in addition, it could be that I grind my teeth a lot when I'm wide awake. Since that dental visit, I have been catching myself in stressful situations exerting a lot of pressure on my teeth. I find that I am often tensed up, teeth clenched, and am now wondering how often I do this and whether this has anything to do with what the hygenist saw.

I realize life is a grind for me right now: lots of work responsibilities, two small children to parent, church roles to fulfill, house projects to stay on top of, relationships to manage, bills to pay, and the list goes on. I often sigh aloud to God that I am worn out, although quick to add that I am happy about all of what my life is full with.

But there is a sense that it is not good that life is such a grind that I am literally grinding down my teeth. So even as I am not keeping an eye out on my jaw and teeth, I should be doing the same with my soul.

I Have "Nothing" to Do for the "Rest" of the Weekend

After a string of really full weekends, this past weekend is what counts for a relatively lightly scheduled weekend:

Saturday
4a-5a Pray
5a-6a Exercise, check emails
6a-7a Grocery shopping
7a-8a Breakfast with kids
8a-9a Lowes run with kids
9a-10a Bring car to shop, take El to YMCA
10a-1p Soccer and swimming at YMCA
1p-2p Lunch with kids, boss brings over hand-me-downs
2p-6p Call friends, drop off stuff at secondhand store, hang up house numbers, Dryel suits, do laundry, put away laundry, vacuum, clean windows
6p-7p Dinner with kids
7p-8p Bedtime with kids
8p-9p Read, bedtime

Sunday
4a-5a Pray
5a-6a Exercise, check emails
6a-7a Go through mail, pay bills
7a-8a Breakfast with kids
8a-9a Haircuts for Aaron and me
9a-10a Come home, do baths, off to Sunday School
10a-12p Sunday School and then church
12p-1p Lunch with kids
1p-2p Some free time!
2p-6p Small group Bible study with couples from church
6p-7p Dinner with kids
7p-8p Bedtime with kids
8p-9p Read, bedtime

Despite all that, I didn't get to everything I wanted to do. I had on my to-do list to clean our air conditioner filters, call a bunch of other friends I hadn't talked to in awhile, bleed our radiators, sweep our sidewalk, and clean the Brita filter. To say nothing of that nagging paint job or that basement clean-up project I never seem to be able to get to.

This coming weekend, I am challenged to have something else to do: nothing. As a Christian, I believe in the importance of rest, and in particular God's command, which He practiced Himself, to rest. Rest, in other words, is something God gives us, and insists on us taking. Not to do so is to be disobedient. And not to do so is usually out of a lack of trust that that rest is good and necessary and allowable.

This coming weekend, I will have many things on my to-do list. But I have put "nothing" at the top. Hopefully, I will in fact do "nothing," so that I might claim the rest God has for me.

Life Together

Modern realities keep us far from the practices of the earliest Christian communities as described in the New Testament. We can't and don't share possessions, meals, and time nearly as often as we could and should. We are hyper-individualists living in a hyper-individualist generation in a hyper-individualist nation.

And yet we are not devoid of the sweetness of community. One particularly nice manifestation of that is the couples small group we are part of through our church. Counted among our four couples are six and a half jobs, ten children, and far too little free time. But once a month, we gather to eat food, tell jokes, study the Bible, pray, wrestle with moral dilemmas and tough life decisions, and share a little bit of ourselves. And, because of our relative proximity to each other, we can also aspire to see each other, formally and informally, outside of the normal settings of church and small group.

It ain't "Acts 2," but it ain't half bad. In fact, it feels quite rich to be blessed thusly, with friends and co-journeyers to sharpen and encourage and challenge and feed me.

Aaron's Baptism

This past weekend, we got around to doing something we'd been meaning to do for quite some time, which was to have Aaron baptized. I'll skip the hard-core theological aspects of this rite, except to say that I personally do believe in infant baptism although I do not begrudge those who believe that only those who can themselves profess faith should be baptized.

What I want to talk about is what baptizing Aaron means for me and my family. As Amy and I discussed with him the night before, infant baptism is not the child's choice, but the parent's or parents'. Many consider something like the profession of faith to be private and individual, something someone decides by one's self for one's self. But we believe that the profession of faith is public and communal, something parents decide for their children until they are old enough to decide for themselves.

Indeed, during Aaron's baptism ceremony, even though Aaron is old enough to understand and answer questions, there were no questions for him. Instead, the questions were to Amy and me (whether we were ready to commit to raising Aaron in the Christian faith) and to the congregation as a whole (whether they were willing to assist us in that task).

Just to be clear, while Jada professes to believe in Jesus, Aaron professes to not believe. And that's OK for now. There will be time for his own decisions to be made about his own life. For now, he is under our care, physical and spiritual, and this past weekend we stated publicly what we committed to privately some time ago, which is that we intend to do what we can to raise Aaron to follow Jesus.

Gotcha

Six years ago yesterday, we culminated one journey (going to China to adopt a little baby girl) and started another (becoming parents). It's a bit overwhelming to think of all of the emotions that led up to and surrounded that day, and all that's transpired since. All we can live is the days to come, and we delight to have a front row seat as God grows our little one, and our love for her. Gotcha, Jada!

Lazy Linking, 56th in an Occasional Series

Stuff I liked lately on the Internets:

56.1. Here is Part I and Part II of Steve Jobs unveiling the iPhone in 2007. I was mesmerized by this, as I realized how many things that we take for granted now were revolutionary back then. For example, listen for the audible gasp when he resizes an image with his fingers for the first time.

56.2. I thought it was telling on two fronts that Philadelphia's "Occupy Wall Street" protest took place in Dilworth Plaza outside City Hall. One, there is no iconic financial district in our city, unlike New York or San Francisco or Chicago or Boston. Two, it's clear that Dilworth Plaza is our Tahrir Square.

56.3. David Frum says the real story isn't that Sarah Palin is fading away but that the Republican Party somehow lacked the "antibodies" to keep someone with her "faults and failings" out in the first place.

56.4. Even though it's unpopular to say against anything bad about what Steve Jobs says, let alone his infamous 2005 Stanford commencement speech, Megan McArdle does so and I appreciate her uneasiness and honesty.

56.5. A passionate Italian with a penchant for shoes and the verb "love" is shaking things up at stodgy 3M. Yes, a tape dispenser can be sexy!

They're Not Your Dad

Dads with kids Jada's age, are you starting to get this line: "So-and-so's dad lets her do such-and-such." When Jada pulls this with me, it irks me to no end. After all, she lives like a princess, so for her to complain rings hollow to me.

I've said something to that effect a couple of times with Jada. But usually, I go with something else. "Well, so-and-so's dad is not your dad. I'm your dad. So what I say, goes."

Thankfully, Jada hasn't gone into full-on teenager mode yet. This statement seems to matter to her, enough so that when Aaron says something about her teacher or some other important adult in his life, Jada is quick to say, "That's nice, but they're not your dad. Daddy's your dad so what he says, goes."

As much as kids have it in their nature to want to rebel, to be independent, to desire more than what their parents give, I think kids do really want boundaries and structure and rules. One can go overboard, of course, but by and large I sense that Jada is happier when I am firm about my position of authority. She knows I love her (which I do), and she believes I know what I'm doing (which I do more often than I don't, at least), so there is a comfort level when I am clear about what I think is right and not right.

There's a life lesson in there somewhere, but let me just leave it at that. For now, I'm just glad I rein in my desire to go bat crazy when Jada pulls that line on me, and glad also that she's not yet a teenager.

Body Blow

I've been feeling good since my family joined the Y. Exercise will do that for you. Although some of what I mean by "feeling good" is that I am happy with my body. Which is not a bad thing and in fact is a good thing. But it can easily lead to a shallow sort of idolatry.

So it was fitting, if not funny, when my body image took a little bit of a blow this past weekend. I decided to break from my weekly routine and swim laps on Saturday morning, not checking ahead to see that the pool is unavailable during that time because it's when the swim team practices.

I thought the pool looked a little funny when I got there; something about the lane dividers didn't seem right. But I was about to jump in anyway when one of the workers looked me up and down and said, "Wait, you're not on the swim team, are you?" Two thoughts immediately came to mind. First, I should've checked the schedule, and now that I can't swim, what am I going to do or am I going to have to just head straight home.

Second, and more damaging to my ego, clearly from the way the guy looked at me and then said what he said, I don't have the sculpted body of a swim team member. Alas. I guess the moral of the story is that it's good to feel good about how you look, and I do, but it's also good to be put in your place every once in a while.

Prayer for Entrepreneurs

I was asked to give the blessing at Passing the Torch, last night's fundraiser for The Enterprise Center. Here's what I prayed.

Dear God, we thank for all you've done to make this night and this place possible, and we thank you for all the people you've used to make this night and this place possible.

Lord, even as we celebrate tonight, we are sobered by the challenges we are faced with, challenges of an economic and social and community nature. Demand is down, resources seem lacking, unemployment is high, and the need is great.

So I ask your blessing on this audience and on this organization, O God, that you might provide what we need to do the important work you have given us to do. Help these entrepreneurs among us to be wise, honest, and productive. May their ventures create jobs, provide quality products and services, and anchor our neighborhoods.

Heavenly Father, as torches are passed, we honor the present generation for carrying the flame thus far, and ask you to be with the future generation as they carry it forward. And we trust that, day by day, season by season, generation after generation, You will make a way, even when it seems there is no way.

And so by Your grace and by faith, to You, O Lord, do we commit ourselves, our work, and tonight's festivities. In the name of Jesus I pray. Amen.

Religion Matters

As a Bible-believing Christian living in the year 2011 in a big cosmopolitan city and a left-leaning neighborhood, the notion of Christianity being close-minded and arrogant is ever about me. In contrast, religious pluralism seems so much more friendly and copasetic. What could be wrong with letting everyone believe whatever they want? If you're wondering what this fundamentalist thinks, read on.

First of all, of course people are free to believe whatever they want. Certainly there have been dark and unfortunate episodes in Christian history when people did in fact have a certain religion forced upon them, upon penalty of death or excommunication. But that's not where most of us Bible believers are today.

What we really believe is that there really is one way to God. There are at least three alternatives to this, so let's talk about them. First is that there are no ways to God, which is pretty depressing, although completely consistent with any belief systems that don't believe in any God and that consider us humans simply animals that are born, live, die, and then returned to the ground. Second is that no one knows how to get to God, or that no one can know how to get to God, which has some level of presumptuousness to it. (I realize that some people don't believe this as much as that they themselves don't know how to get to God or if anyone can get to God, which is a much humbler posture.)

Third is this notion of religious pluralism, which says there are many ways to God. Although, unless I am mistaken, it goes a little farther in its inherent beliefs.

First, there is a sense that man is at the center of the universe, and it is his right to choose his own way. This may seem obvious to many, but it is likely only because we were raised in a modern-day Western culture that exalts the self above all else. Not everyone believes man is in control of his own destiny; in fact, in the world and in history, I would venture to say it is a minority opinion.

Second, and related to the first tenet, there is a sense that man is pretty much alright. I'm OK, you're OK, we're all OK, and it's those darned Christians preaching about sin and redemption and atonement that are putting the fizzy in the drink of life.

If you believe that man is at the center of the universe, and that we are all pretty much OK, then multiple ways to God are just fine and dandy. Because "ways to God" is no more important than, say, a hobby or an allegiance to a sports team: we all have different interests and preferences, but even if we are passionate about them, we don't need to intrude on those of others.

But what if man is not at the center of the universe? What if there is more to the universe than just our existence in it? And what if we are not in fact OK? What if we all have some very real need for atonement or heaven or nirvana or whatever you want to call it?

In fact, much of the world holds some belief like this. Whether it is Christianity or Judaism or Islam or Hinduism or Buddhism or any number of thousands of other world religions, most have some sense of something bigger than the self, and some sense that all is not necessarily alright with the world as it relates to our existence and our souls.

To believe so is in direct conflict with the very basic tenets of religious pluralism, which puts man at the center and seeks to deemphasize any divisive beliefs about higher beings or paths to eternal fulfillment. Even as it prides itself on respecting a diversity of beliefs, it doesn't in fact extend respect, because it asks each belief to be defanged of its fundamental principles.

Even if you say something like, "I respect your belief system, and your right to have that belief system, because that works for you, but it doesn't work for me," consider what is presupposed in such a statement. First, that man chooses what path will work. And, second, that my path necessarily doesn't work for you.

I recall being confronted by someone who knew I was the kind of Christian that wants to tell others to become Christian, who essentially said, "I can't stand how you Christians say there is only one way to God." Ah, but that statement came from a fundamental disagreement we had about the world. She didn't believe man wasn't at the center of the universe, and she didn't believe man wasn't basically alright. If instead you believe in a Higher Being, and in the need for some sort of atonement, and if in particular you believed in the Christian narrative about God and mankind and sin and judgment, then you are marvel that there is a way at all. Far from "one way to God" seeming arrogant and restrictive and bad news, it is welcoming and expansive and incredibly good news.

Indeed, it is no coincidence that the greatest Christian revivals in our history have been preceded by a great movement of conviction of depravity and lostness, and an intentional confessing and turning from sin. Even we who say we are Christians can easily fall into thinking that we are at the center of the universe, and that we are basically OK. And when that happens, it takes a posture of acknowledging your sinfulness and publicly expressing a desire to turn from it to make room for God to move as He desires to, to draw people to Himself and to redeem lost souls.

Alas, we Christians spend far too much time either boasting about our righteousness or engaging in sinful behavior ourselves, and far too little time being honest with God, ourselves, and others about our lost condition, and imploring God to save and change us. You may mark me as arrogant for making such a sweeping statement, but I really do think that most people's hearts have buried in them a deep longing for atonement. Whether that guilt is directed at self, others, or God, there is a sense that in fact all is not right. And, when we Christians act like the forgiven and reconciled people that we truly are, that ought to be a compelling witness to a world around us that may think it thinks that all is alright but deep down senses that atonement is in order and wonders if there is a way to attain to it.

I've thrown around a lot of terms that I realize in retrospect may have been lazily used and therefore potentially misinterpreted, so perhaps this post has offended some, confused others, and left still others totally unimpressed. But I hope I've made some point in all this dreck. Religion may be unpopular to hold fast to in such a secular and pluralist-seeking society, but it does matter what we think about God and man, and I challenge myself and others who believe what I believe to live out our take on it, for the sake of our souls and the souls of others around us.

Money 101

I inherited my analytical bent from my dad, but both my parents gave me a firm rooting in money management. My mom took me to the bank, where I learned how to save quarters and keep a checkbook balanced. My dad sat me in front of the TV with a pencil and a pad so I could record the stock prices as the scrolled across the bottom of the screen during the afternoon business shows. This was, of course, before the Internet. Now what’s a dad to do in 2011 that would be like that?

Well, I’ve decided to ease my kids into money management. No, there’s no allowance, no checkbook-keeping, and no finding stock prices on Bloomberg or Yahoo! Finance. Instead, I’ve decided to start smaller.

First, if they put their shoes away every day the whole week, I give them two coins that they can put in the church offering. We used to just give them coins to put in the offering plate, but now I want them to own that act of generosity. And making sure they put their shoes away seems like an easy but meaningful act to commit to.

Second, with Jada I am killing two birds with one stone. So far, her weekly first grade homework has been easy, so she is done well before her Friday deadline (four pages’ worth are supposed to be done at a rate of one per day, and she is often done by Tuesday or Wednesday). So each week, I have downloaded additional reading and math worksheets online (two of each), and I tell her she will earn 50 cents for each completed sheet, for a total of up to two dollars a week. I don’t actually give her the money, but put it in a clear jar so she can see it add up.

The kicker is that when Christmas rolls around, she can buy whatever toy she wants with that money. (Her piggy bank is separate. That's for saving. The jar is for spending. That's right, we're doing fund accounting!) It is not likely she will know well enough to shop around for a good price, free spirit that she is. But it is possible that seeing that she has a certain amount of money and no more may cause her to learn how to make wise choices about how to maximize her happiness within the confines of a budget. (I also take away a penny every time she leaves the light on. Fiscal prudence and energy conservation, all in one lesson!)

If you’re wondering, I’m not a fan of allowances, because I never got one. And I’m not a fan of earning money for chores, because chores are supposed to be done regardless of remuneration. Maybe when the kids get older, I’ll open up the playbook and give them more money and more freedom, but I know for sure they’re not ready. But that doesn’t mean they’re not ready for some lessons on saving and spending and giving and receiving.

Losing It

This past weekend was our church's retreat, this year a day affair rather than an overnighter in order to save money. It was a bit nippy in the woods, so the kids were dressed in long pants, long sleeves, sweatshirts, and hats. Of course, it only took Aaron half the day to lose his hat.

I'm not sure why, but his losing his hat caused me to practically lose it, in a figurative sense. I combed the six or seven different places on the retreat site that Aaron had been, in some cases more than twice, but all in vain. After each stop, I scolded Aaron at various volume levels.

I really do hate losing stuff. And I hate how sloppy and careless our kids are with stuff. But it was a really poor performance on my part, especially since my searching and my gruffness ate into time I should have been spending with them and with my church members.

The really lame thing is that I didn't really care about the hat itself - we have others, however misshapen, that he can get by with until we feel like buying another one - but the principle of losing something. And yet, if it was about principle, I should've realized the far more important principle at play. I did in fact lose something, far more precious, in the act of trying to find something relatively not precious. And that was quality time with my nuclear family and my church family.

Lazy Linking, 55th in an Occasional Series

Stuff I liked lately on the Internets:

55.1. Call Jim Collins - Jim Skinner is a Level 5 leader.

55.2 Nice words about our mayor and our water department commissioner in this Time Magazine article about the importance of urban infrastructure.

55.3. A note to our Republican candidates: unlike you all, I actually care more about reducing the deficit (which has consequences for the nation's long-term viability) than about you signaling your loyalty to deficit reduction (which has consequences for your personal short-term electability).

55.4 Some painters are so talented that they can make masterpieces without even using brushes. I envy them even as I admire their work.

55.5 In exchange for helping fund public education in rural China, state-owned China National Tobacco gets to put messages on school gates like "Tobacco helps you become talented."

Friending

I just finished Rich Lamb's "The Pursuit of God in the Company of Friends." Having come of age as a Christian leader under the tutelage of Rich's brother Dave, the stories in the book resonated with me as examples of Christian fellowship in action, replete with mission, honesty, laughter, and good Bible stories.

Each chapter of the book has good reflection questions, so naturally I spent a lot of time during my reading of the book thinking about friends and friendship. I have to admit a little dissonance with the majority of the anecdotes in the book that were of college settings or of people in full-time ministry. For those of us who work full-time and have spouses who work full-time, time to cultivate meaningful friendships can seem like a distant luxury, even if all the more necessary.

Compounding matters for me are some inherent difficulties of investing in the kinds of deep relationships that one can often enjoy (which in fact I did enjoy) when you are younger. First, many of my longest-standing friendships are with people who live far from me, and try as I do to maintain ties through phone calls and the occasional visit, it takes a lot of work. Second, closer to home, many of my close Christian friends, say some of my fellow congregants, are here today and gone tomorrow, due to the relatively transient nature of our neighborhood, so for example it can be deflating to have to build intimacy within a small group when key people are constantly moving away. Third, those friends of mine who are physically close and are likely to be stationary for the time being, such as the parents of my children’s friends, are not often Christian and so I lack that important connection with them.

As an introvert, it can be hard to summon the energy to work on friendships after a long day or week of work. But as Rich Lamb’s book and the Bible both suggest, friendships are important and worth investing in. Even as I face the challenges of making and keeping friends, I realize I am rich in relationships, and grateful for the many really solid people in my life, so I hope this post is not construed as having a complaining or discontent edge to it. I’m just pointing out that making and keeping friends takes effort, effort worth putting forth, but effort nonetheless, especially for people like me.