Huang Family Newsletter, May 2013

An extremely busy work month for Lee, which is a good sign because it means business is going well.  There was a day trip to Detroit to interview for a gig, which he got, so he'll be returning at least a couple of times this summer.  This month also brought the return of the class he teaches at Fels on quantitative tools for consulting.  With all the extra hours, Amy picked up the slack and the kids were none the worse for the wear.  They all contribute to a beloved garden that is great to come home to. We had a delightful barbecue on a gorgeous Memorial Day with Amy's parents, brother, and sister-in-law.

For a Thousand Tongues

We had some of Amy's family members over for a barbecue on Memorial Day. When everyone had left, Amy looked at me and said, "You look like you had a good time." And I did.  Which is not surprising, because I enjoy Amy's family, and who doesn't like a barbecue on a glorious holiday weekend? 

But it occurred to me after Amy's statement that I was particularly happy, and that I was particularly happy because I was able to share three things with Amy's family.  First, Jada and I bought fancy donuts from Federal Donuts downtown, and they were a big hit.  Second, I told my brother-in-law about a new running route I recently discovered, and he tried it (he likes to bring his running gear when he visits) and loved it.  Third, we got everyone to play Life, the board game, which Jada and I have been digging of late.

Even for extreme introverts like me, there is a pleasure in sharing things that make you happy with others, and taking delight when those shared things make others happy.  It is as if the enjoyment of something isn't quite complete until we share it with someone else, and until they experience the same enjoyment we have experienced.

It reminds me of something shared with me by a woman who was a spiritual mentor to me in college.  She mentioned the old hymn, "For a Thousand Tongues to Sing," and said she used to have the image of a mouth with a thousand tongues singing praise to God, but eventually realized that when the songwriter was referring to was the delight in having others join in singing praise to God. 

Just like my point above: it is wonderful to sing praise to God, but even better to do so with others.  It is not because we necessarily enjoy the social interaction, although obviously socializing is enjoyable for many people.  But even for people for whom socializing isn't enjoyable or energizing, sharing a joy with others and having them enjoy the same thing is a delightful thing. 

Fancy donuts and running routes and board games are great things to share with others.  And so is a wonderful God.  Would that we complete our joy by sharing it.

Oh, for a thousand tongues to sing
My great Redeemer's praise
The glories of my God and King
The triumphs of His grace

My gracious Master and my God
Assist me to proclaim
To spread through all the earth abroad
The honors of Thy name

Jesus, the name that charms our fears
That bids our sorrows cease
'Tis music in the sinner's ears
'Tis life and health and peace

He breaks the power of canceled sin
He sets the prisoners free
His blood can make the foulest clean
His blood availed for me

He speaks and listening to His voice
New life the dead receive
The mournful broken hearts rejoice
The humble poor believe

The Cost of Crime

Earlier this month, we had a table and chair set stolen off of our front porch.  The set held little emotional or financial significance to us, since we hardly use it and paid less than a hundred bucks for it.  But it was still a big bummer to realize that furniture that belongs to us can be lifted off of our property.

Amy, who had even less emotional or financial attachment to the set than I did, felt particularly violated.  She's less a city mouse than I am, so making our front area into a little slice of beauty (mostly through her expert and dogged gardening, but the table and chairs contributed, too) was meaningful to her as a way to claim this little piece of land as ours and as home.

Crime, of course, is a major reason people throw up their hands and say to heck with the city.  Here's hoping we're not hit again or worse.  The cost is far more than what is lost in physical possessions.

What Would You Die For

Memorial Day is for honoring those who paid the ultimate price in the service of our country and its ideals.  It should also compel us to consider whether we would be willing to pay such a steep price.  What would you die for?  It may seem a morbid thought as we luxuriate in an extra weekend day, beautiful weather, and a barbecue gathering with friends and family, but it is a reasonable litmus test for what is important in your life.  Is it our country?  Family?  Justice?  Faith? 

You know that I believe in One who died for me.  He also once said, "What does it profit a man to gain the whole world and lose his soul?"  It is the inverse of dying for something, which is seeming to gain everything only to have lost the most important thing. 

So thinking about what you would die for is actually not so irrelevant.  For not having a good answer to that question may mean that you are in fact dying a little already.  So what is your answer?

The Anger of the Father

Amy and I were both industrious and tidy as children, so it is particularly jarring for us as adults to cohabit with two little human beings who are prone to distraction and messes.  In relative terms, Jada and Aaron are probably pretty normal on these fronts.  But it's still a hassle for Amy and me, especially after a long day of work and especially given how much we crave neatness and early bedtimes.

Last week, I erupted in anger over Jada and Aaron lollygagging after dinner instead of getting ready for bed.  It wasn't just that infraction - they had crossed me a bunch of times leading up to this, Aaron made more work for Amy by hiding a mess from her rather than telling her about it, and both kids were on a serious whining jag - but that was a pretty good last straw for me.  I stormed upstairs, caught them making a mess instead of cleaning one up, and spanked them on their bare bottoms right then and there - not enough to cause physical pain or leave a mark, but with enough emotional force that they got the picture that Dad was seriously bent out of shape.

I was still seething when Amy decided to call a family meeting, at which she instructed the kids about respecting us and about the importance of the Golden Rule.  When it was my turn to talk, I said three things - do what I tell you, don't hide when you make a mistake, and stop whining - and told them there would be more spankings if they didn't heed.  The next morning, Amy reminded them: "Remember the Golden Rule."  As for me, my reminder was: "Remember I will spank you harder next time."

It occurred to me, in my rage over my children's bad behavior, that God is angry at us at times.  He wants us to do what He tells us, He wants us not to hide when we make a mistake, and He wants us to stop whining.  And He rages when we disobey Him in these things. 

God is far more righteous than I, of course.  I want my kids to do what I tell them because I don't like to repeat myself.  I want my kids to not hide when they make a mistake because when they do, either I or Amy end up having to do more work instead of being able to relax or go to bed.  And I want my kids to stop whining because, well, I can't stand that sound.

But God's desire for us to obey Him in these things comes from a far better place.  He wants us to do what He tells us because what He tells us He tells us for our good, and so for us to do otherwise is for us to settle for far less than the best.  He wants us to not hide when we make a mistake because He longs to be gracious to us and to make right the rift we have caused in our relationship with Him on account of our bad deeds.  And He wants us to stop whining because He has given us a way to true contentedness, which honors Him because it demonstrates that He is all-sufficient and that in Him we need lack nothing.

Perhaps some of my frustration and rage had some godly twinges to it, even as it was fleshly in impetus.  At the least, it pointed me to a greater Father, who is also my example for being a better father.

Regular Touches with Dear Friends

An important but scarce resource for men of my age and persuasion is deep male friendships.  I feel deeply blessed in this area.  But all my closest friends are busy, making even a simple phone call a rare treat.  And most are geographically distant: three live in California, while four others once lived near me but subsequently moved to Cincinnati, Houston, Honolulu, and Alabama.

Of the two who live in the Philadelphia area, making face-to-face contact possible on a regular basis, one I see often at a nearby coffee shop, since our paths literally cross there, making catching up there pretty frictionless in terms of fitting it into our schedules.  And one recently got a job less than a block away from my office, making regular lunches something easy to commit to.

I don't take for granted the pleasure, strength, and camaraderie I am able to draw from all of these men.  They know me from forever, keep me in check, encourage me, bust my chops, and set a positive example for me to emulate.  I am thankful I am so rich in this area.

Sponsoring

My firms is on a bit of a sponsoring spree this month.  Last Thursday we sponsored the book launch of one of our Senior Advisors, Greg Heller, who just published the first-ever biography of Philadelphia planning icon Ed Bacon.  Last Friday we co-sponsored the General Building Contractors of America's event, "A Conversation between the Construction Industry and Key City Officials."  And tomorrow, we are the lead sponsor for the Greater Philadelphia Hotel Association's annual Golf Outing and Fundraiser at Lulu Country Club in Glenside PA.  Just trying to get our name out there.  Keep an eye out for this logo!

What Am I Working On

As has become my custom every three months, here's what I'm working on now at work. I won't repeat anything from last time that I happen to still be working on, and for confidentiality's sake I have to blur some of the details for some of these studies.


Estimating the economic impact of a big event that takes place every year in Philadelphia.


Estimating the impact of a proposed hospital expansion on its immediate neighborhood.


Articulating the impacts of an institution of higher learning that is seeking university status.

Calculating the job and tax revenue impacts of a number of proposed projects that are seeking state funding.

Quantifying the size of the commercial building industry in a major metropolitan area.



Comparing a tourism destination's previous projections of economic impact against present and future trends.

Evaluating two potential sstate-level surcharges being proposed to raise funds for a recently implemented economic development program.

Comparing a tax policy change being proposed in one city with its effects on other cities that have recently enacted such a change.

Articulating the benefits associated with the preservation of a beloved piece of open space in a suburban township.

Performing a cost-benefit analysis on a set of stormwater management plan alternatives.

Critiquing an economic analysis that was written in support of a proposed office and hotel project seeking federal funding.



Updating a past study on the economic impact of an industry for its state association.


Developing a set of metrics for monitoring neighborhood change.

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Multi-Layered, Multi-Playered

A highlight of my first class at Penn was a lively discussion we had about some contemporary issues that everyone is buzzing about, namely: (1) education funding, (2) Marcellus Shale, and (3) casinos and stadiums as economic development drivers.  From the impassioned comments, groans, and facial expressions I could tell people had strong opinions about these topics, and so it was fascinating to explore together just how complex, multi-layered, and multi-playered these subjects are.

I was quick to note that in some countries, there isn't anything complex, multi-layered, and multi-playered about big things like this: one person or group just decides, and that's that.  Not so in our country, in which so many actors are involved in making any big decision about public resources, public land, or public policies, and each actor in turn is influenced by a myriad of factors (one of which, I hope, is quantitative analysis, the topic of my class!).

I will say this: however much we may complain at the dysfunction in the way we make big public decisions, I vastly prefer this way to another, more centralized way.  At the least, it makes for more interesting classroom discussion on a Saturday morning on a beautiful May day.

I'm Glad My Kids Feel Normal

Three cheers for Sarah Mitteldorf, a Chinese adoptee who has written "Many Ways," a play that explores the perspectives of Chinese adoptees that was performed this past weekend at Asian Arts Initiative.  The biggest bulge of Chinese adoptees are between the ages of 9 and 12, the girls featured in Mitteldorf's play, and Mitteldorf herself, who is 27, and Mitteldorf's play has given a creative voice for some of their experiences.

It's still early for Jada, who is 8, but I wonder if her intersection with this issue of her being adopted from China will be decidedly less dramatic.  Unlike many of her fellow adoptees, she was adopted into a family that included someone who looks like her.  Also, unlike many of her fellow adoptees, she was adopted into a community that is very racially diverse. 

To be sure, a lot of the uniqueness of the Chinese adoptive experience is the "from" part: where she came from, who were her birth parents, what of the Chinese culture is meaningful for her.  But a lot of the uniqueness is from the "to" part: Asian-looking kids with non-Asian names and non-Asian parents living in largely non-Asian communities. 

To Jada, being adopted from China is . . . normal.  The "from" part is a unique aspect of her origins, but otherwise registers no mystique or strangeness from her or her friends.  And the "to" part is also decidedly normal; in a sense there is normal among her friends, since there is such diversity in race and ethnicity, socio-economic status, and family structure. 

It's one of the perks of living in a big, cosmopolitan city.  Not that cities are inherently better than suburbs: no place is devoid of the really bad things that negatively impact kids, like divorce and abuse and addiction and racism.  But for a family that includes adoptive kids, the fact that there is no normal against which their faces and stories stick out like a sore thumb, it helps them to feel normal and I think that's a good thing for them.

Follow My Class on Social Media

Tomorrow is the first day of my Quantitative Tools for Consulting class.  I'll miss having Saturday mornings free (I'll lose Friday nights as well, between grading homeworks, getting lectures ready, and making sure I get my zzz's) but I'm excited as well, because it's really fun to teach and to be in a classroom setting.  I happen to enjoy the subject matter also, so it will be fun to talk about it as well as learn from my students.

If you want to get a look-in on what we're up to, I encourage you to follow us on social media.  I've decided that part of the course expectation will be to contribute weekly to Twitter, Facebook, and LinkedIn pages I've set up for the class.  In typical Fels fashion, I want to tie what we're learning in the classroom with what's actually going on in the real world, and so each week students will have to find a report or article that relates to that week's subject and post it onto our social media presences. 

If you want to follow us, here are the links.  I'll probably contribute as well, so you can look for my posts which are hashtagged #LH. 

Twitter

Facebook

LinkedIn

Kareem Says Watch More TV, and He Might Just Be Right

There are many ways to describe Los Angeles Lakers great Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.  Tall.  All-time leading scorer.  NBA champion.  Starred in the movie Airplane!  Funny goggles. 

He's also a pretty deep thinker.  So it was with great interest that I read "Life Lessons with Kareem Abdul-Jabbar" at Esquire.com.  A lot of these were unsurprising although no less profound and arresting.  But one made me think in a good way:

18. Watch more TV. Yeah, you heard right, Little Kareem. It’s great that you always have your nose in history books. That’s made you more knowledgeable about your past and it has put the present in context. But pop culture is history in the making and watching some of the popular shows of each era reveals a lot about the average person, while history books often dwell on the powerful people.

Especially since the beginning of the year, when I took on more responsibilities at work, I have had even less time for TV.  The only TV I watch is about 60-70 games total per year between basketball, baseball, and football, and none of those are watched live, but rather the next morning while frantically fast-forwarding to compress a 3 1/2 hour event into 30 minutes.  Also, Amy and I will Netflix our way through some past season of a show like Criminal Minds or Dexter; again, not anywhere close to live, and thus nowhere close to when the rest of the world is watching.

Per Kareem, there's something to be said about consuming pop culture at the moment it is being broadcast.  It is like watching history in the making.  And, importantly, it can be talked about the next morning around the water cooler, at the gym, and on the bus.  

And that's the part I think I'm missing.  If I want to be influential for the Kingdom of God, I can't be secluded from what's on the mind of my co-workers, neighbors, and friends.  I can't cycle furiously between work, chores, kids, and sleep.  I have to interact with people, taking in a ballgame while it's being played rather than 12 hours later, or dishing about a show the morning after instead of catching up on it several years later.  

To be sure, TV can be a huge waste of time and a huge suck on one's soul.  Many people would do well to watch less of it and spend less time thinking and talking about it.  But that doesn't mean it has zero redeeming qualities to it.  Sports are a great way to break the ice with a stranger or a friend.  And yukking it up or going on a rant about last night's juicy episode is a fantastic way to delve into much deeper issues with the people around us.  

May has been a crazy month for me so far, and it doesn't appear to be abating any time soon.  But if you see me catching the NBA playoffs at a nearby bar or suddenly being conversant on what's what with Scandal, now you'll know how I did it and why. 

Join our Community Association for Free

The membership committee of the community association I am on the board of decided to do something crazy to encourage people to join the association and get involved with us: offer memberships for free.  No strings attached.  Yes, "free" is the best price point of them all.  See the blurb below for more info on what we're about and how you can join.



Spruce Hill Community Association - become a member... FOR FREE!

For a limited time, Spruce Hill Community Association (SHCA) is offering new members the first year of membership FOR FREE! 

SHCA is dedicated to serving the community, and we want you to get involved with us.  We work on issues that matter - education, zoning, clean-ups, neighborhood plans, public safety.  We put on great events like the annual May Fair and the Halloween Parade.  And our communications keep members in the loop about community news and events.  To be a member for absolutely free for one year - no strings attached - email Richard Guffanti at RichGuffanti (at) yahoo.com with your name, address, and cell and home phones.  We look forward to having you join us! 

And That's How You Narrate a Story

Fans of Arrested Development (like me) are counting down the days until the May 26 release, on Netflix, of all 15 episodes of Season 4 all at once.  It is an unprecedented move and has engendered a lot of discussion about business models and advertising strategies - is it dumb to not slowly dole out the precious content and thus maximize advertising potential, or is it indicative of a new viewing paradigm that churns through entire seasons over a long weekend?

This reminds me of a central point in Stephen Johnson's brilliant book,"Everything Bad is Good for You: How Today's Popular Culture is Actually Making Us Smarter."  Johnson reminds us of the characteristics of how we used to watch shows - one episode at a time, no reruns, no syndication.  This meant scripts had to be mind-numbingly simple: if you miss the joke, you never have a second chance to get it.

Nowadays, you can watch multiple episodes - even entire seasons - in one happy binge.  You can also rewind, discuss on social media, and get tons of extras on websites and DVDs.  Accordingly, writers can create incredibly complex layers to their stories: inside jokes within inside jokes, setting up a gag several episodes in advance, and back stories so rich that they probably warrant their own show. 

I would argue that our lives have followed a similar arc.  Think of how hyper-connected we are thanks to social media.  I am not necessarily saying that we are more connected than before - one can argue that we are less - but that we are in touch with one another much more frequently than ever.  Mostly through Facebook, but also through other social media sites, we consume each others' lives on an almost daily basis: pictures of kids, accounts of nights out on the town, announcements of major business decisions.

Over time, our images of others (and, in turn, their images of us) are formed by millions of tiny data points.  Think about it this way: my interactions with undergrad classmates five years after we all graduated (i.e. in the late 1990's) were characterized by infrequent phone calls and in-person meetings, whereas my interactions with grad classmates five years after we all graduated (i.e. this decade) have been characterized by thousands of tweets, photos, pokes, and messages.  It's a fascinating shift in the way we connect, share, and influence. 

If we seek to be influential, whether for social or cultural or political or religious or moral reasons, it is a wonderful and thought-provoking time.  We can be multi-layered, complex, and deep in the way we convey ourselves and our messages.  We may not have a multi-million dollar contract with Netflix or employ dozens of whip-smart writers, but we can be just as interesting, in much more interesting ways than even ten years ago.

I like Stephen Johnson's book because it's so common to hear people say how pop culture has dumbed as down, and how we are more disconnected to one another.  Whether or not that is true in the aggregate, for each of us we can still choose to connect with and influence others.  And we have so many and varied ways to do so. 

Huang Family Newsletter, April 2013

Amy and Lee were crazy busy at their workplaces, with Lee out multiple evenings for various business functions.  Now that Spring has sprung, Amy is hitting the garden with a spring in her step.  Aaron finished his swim class and also started wearing glasses.  Jada continues with ballet.  The kids participated in a musical at church, went to Forbidden Drive in Fairmount Park, and attended a science festival downtown.