Too Short for a Blog Post, Too Long for a Tweet 231

Here are two excerpts from a book I recently read, "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe," by Meg Meeker:

You might say, “My daughter refuses to show affection. She treats me with contempt. Far from nurturing her little brother, she’s nasty to him. She’s even mean to her friends.” I know, but read on. No matter how much her needs are hidden or how she behaves outwardly, the desire to give love and be loved still lies deep within her—a constant yearning. And this should give you tremendous hope, because beneath the toddler having temper tantrums, or the angry middle schooler who says she would rather text on her phone than talk to you, or the tattooed teenager who thinks she’s a rebel, lies a heart that is still tender. It may be buried under anger, disappointment, sadness, or jealousy—and that’s okay. Your job as a parent is to gently chip away at all the barriers she might erect around her heart. But always know that her heart is still there and that she still desires to give love and to be loved. You can’t—and don’t need to—control everything she does. Life will inevitably leave a few scars on her. But if you understand her constant, fundamental longings, you will eventually understand each other and your relationship will shift—sometimes dramatically—for the better.

No father is perfect. Every father messes up. But every dad is a giant to his daughter, and every daughter is the most forgiving person he will ever know because she needs him more than she needs anyone else. What a daughter cares most about is seeing that her father is trying to be a good dad to her. You are her first love, and every kindness you extend to her—every time you wipe away a tear, or listen to her, or acknowledge her as important to you—you are strengthening her sense of self. And she will never forget you or your example.