Race Matters, Real Engagement Matters

I was recently catching up with an old friend of mine, and the subject of our conversation turned to financial planning.  We met in our 20’s and are now in our 40’s, so how we approach money and what we spend it on has changed drastically in the span of our friendship.  We’re both fortunate that we were both taught well as kids, and have largely made good choices with our money. 

Plus neither of us is a big splurger or impulse buyer.  If anything, I’ve had to work hard to stop fretting over every little purchase: my dad’s parents grew up in a very poor part of Taiwan and carried that frugality into their parenting of their kids, which subsequently got passed on to me.  But I’m fortunate that I can go out with my kids and, after indulging their request for water ice on a sweltering summer day, shell out another $3 for a smoothie for myself.  Sounds utterly banal, but this represents progress for me.

Anyway, I digress.  My friend encouraged me to check out a financial literacy blogger he likes, whose main point is that if you make good choices about a few really big and important things – taking on a housing cost well under your means, being careful about debt, avoiding wasteful recurring expenses if at all possible – then the little step doesn’t need to be sweated.  Or, said another way, no matter how hard you fuss about little stuff like clipping coupons and pinching pennies, if you don’t get the big stuff right then you’re not going to go anywhere. 

I agree with all of this, and it’s a particularly helpful reminder to me to mind the big stuff and not fret over my $3 smoothie.  But it occurs to me that this philosophy is also true of making a difference in the world. 

I was reminded of this when I saw on social media different variations of the following sort of sentiment, which goes something like this, that there are lots of non-black folks with “Black Lives Matter” signs on the front lawns of their homes but no black people in their kids’ schools.  The sad irony this statement is pointing out is that far too many of us have actively or passively segregated ourselves by our choice of where our home is, in ways that are antithetical to the statement of the sign we've placed in front of that home.

Race, and particularly the past and present of the black experience in this country, is proving to be the defining issue of our time, at the forefront of so many things that shape modern discourse and present in some form in literally all issues we are grappling with as a society.   Kudos if you have decided you will not bury your head in the sand but rather are recognizing this and are willing to grapple along.

But, as with the premise that financial planning is all about getting the big things right, engaging on race is most impactful when you engage in a substantive rather than shallow or peripheral way.  Most of all, engagement on the issue of race means engaging with people of different racial perspectives.  Which seems patently obvious, and yet it is the point I am making today because I think many of us are guilty of the sort of behavior I often engage in when it comes to money, which is to think that because I’m clipping coupons and pinching pennies, then therefore I must be making a dent when it comes to financial planning.

There are a few big moves that we can make to actually engage with people different from us and therefore to actually engage on the subject of race. You don’t have to do all of these things, but if you do none of these things, then are you really engaging or are you just working on the periphery?  In no particular order, and if you have any other good ones please chime in:

1.       Live in a neighborhood that is racially and socio-economically diverse.

2.       Send your kids to a school that is racially and socio-economically diverse.

3.       Work for a company that is racially and socio-economically diverse, not only in its employee make-up but in the distribution of power.

4.       Become an active member of a worship community that is racially and socio-economically diverse.

5.       Make intentional efforts to make friends and spend time with people who are racially and socio-economically different than you.

6.       Go to public and private places that attract a diversity of people.

7.       Read books from authors who represent a diversity of perspectives.

8.       And of course...marry or adopt someone from a different racial background as yours. 😀