Building Community with Intentionality

 

 

I forget where I read that everyone should, at some point in their lives, try to accomplish something completely audacious with a small group of people. I agree with the sentiment. There’s nothing quite like the energy of having a challenging purpose to fulfill with a manageable number of team members. O the exhilaration of trying something really hard. And O the satisfaction of being intimately tied with others in the effort. 

I’ve been lucky to go deep during college with my fellow Christian fellowship leaders, doing our best to live right and influence others, and then in both my jobs where I had the honor of working with and learning from some amazing human beings as we did meaningful labor. Outside of the close relationships I’ve been lucky to forge with my nuclear family through marriage and parenthood, these are the greatest experiences in my life. 

As we age, community becomes so important yet isolation becomes so common. People move away and eventually die off, those that remain get busy or face limited mobility, and our once crowded social calendars give way to the numbing constancy of solitude. While it is good to learn how to enjoy  being by yourself, being alone for long stretches of time is not good, so it is worth considering what community looks like when it is hard to form, and how to overcome those growing barriers to build it with intentionality. 

Social media is, of course, a low-barrier form of human communication that has its limitations and dangers but also its upsides. But, while I ascribe great value to this platform in forming and strengthening connections, I want to emphasize how essential physical contact is, especially in places with limited natural interaction in the form of age-diverse neighborhoods or welcoming public spaces (e.g. senior centers, parks). 

I hope to have many years of easier communal experiences through work, civic activities, friends and extended family, and of course my wife and kids. But I’m already thinking ahead to a time where such touchpoints become less accessible for a variety of reasons, and feeling grateful that places like the Y and activities like golf represent opportunities to make new friends and cherish existing ones. Hopefully I’m lucky enough to enjoy it all for many decades to come, and hopefully we can all put in the work to make sure everyone has someone.