2024 Predictions Guaranteed or Your Money Back

 

2024 feels like it's going to be a crazy and unpredictable year. Which would normally not dissuade me from venturing some uneducated guesses anyway. Instead I'm going to mail it in and wait for the world to spin out of control along with everyone else.

To sidestep any accusation that I'm burying my past predictions, here are my 2023 ones from 12 months ago:

1. Despite rampant speculation, the D’s unite behind Biden-Harris. To be opposed by DeSantis-Youngkin.

Still undetermined as of this point in time, and on the R side by no means a done deal.

2. Victor Wembanyama, widely regarded as the #1 pick in the 2023 NBA draft and a generational prospect, will miss his entire first season in the league due to injury.

Thankfully no so far! But very tall players have an awful track record on this so I continue to hold my breath, because he is otherwise a generational talent and apparently a good guy.

3. No recession, no inflation, no growth…just nothing newsworthy. Which I'd take!

Not without economic tumult but nothing catastrophic, and yes I would continue to take that.

4. Olivia Rodrigo will be announced as the performer for the 2024 Super Bowl halftime show.

I'll roll this pick over to 2025 and bop along with Usher in the meantime.

5. AI tipping point: a machine-generated book, album, and painting all hit the top of their respective charts.

Definitely an AI tipping point this year, but maybe give it a year or two for the kind of mass-market success I predicted?

Before we leave this post and close the book on 2023 as a whole, a hat tip to the following people who I don't think we fully grasp how amazing they are, but our grandkids will be asking us "what were they like in person?"

• Taylor Swift - Not sure why there was controversy about her winning Time's "Person of the Year" award. The year truly belonged to her.

• LeBron James - Easily a Top 10 player in a star-studded league. In Year 21!

• Shohei Ohtani - Maybe two-way players will be the norm in 50 years. Or, maybe, then and now, we'll recognize him as literally a once-in-a-hundred-years kind of star.

• The marketing people at Warner Bros. - "Barbie" wasn't just a blockbuster movie; it was a summer vibe, fashion aesthetic, and social movement. An exquisitely executed campaign.