12.05.2017

2018 Predictions Guaranteed or Your Money Back

It’s time to gaze into the ol’ crystal ball, say crazy stuff, and hope that no one checks after the fact.

But first, these were my predictions from a year ago:

1. Trump walks back all the trade protectionist talk, much to the chagrin of his core followers.  The new base he cultivates: truck drivers angry about autonomous vehicles.  Alas, we are still all #MAGA, all the time.

2.Major online security breach leads to huge uptick in high-end credit cards with multiple verification steps, and huge chill in the market for virtual home assistants (e.g. Google Home).  Hello, Equifax! (Laughs and then cries.)

3. Concussion-related complications for two high-profile QBs - one active, one retired - are the final prod for major rules changes to protect players.  Alas, lots of big names, but no rule changes…but maybe better equipment is on the way?

4. The song of the summer will be an out-of-nowhere mashup of socially conscious hip hop and good ol' boy country.  The song of the summer was probably either “Despacito” or “I’m the One,” so…an out-of-nowhere mashup of bubble gum hip hop and Hispanic/Palestinian?

5. A robust year for the global economy and world stock markets, but signs of a pullback at the very end.  Yes and…maybe?

Eh, not bad.  Some forecasts for 2018:

1. Facebook has a “Wells Fargo” moment (i.e. millions of fake accounts, and not for fake news’ sake but to game ad rates), and we all have a collective “wait, we should probably read the fine print” moment with our social media accounts.

2. Donald Trump?  I can't predict next week, let alone next year.

3. We “hack” sleep to the point that how we went to bed in 2017 will seem so archaic.

4. Another “song of the summer” that isn’t in the English language; but this time it’s not Spanish or even Korean (sorry, BTS fans), but rather some sort of Euro/Caribbean creole.

5. It's the Year of the Native American, as low-level outcry about historical treatment and present woes boil over into a national discussion and reshape our approach towards Thanksgiving.

6. Definitive proof is found that the author of the book of Hebrews in the Christian Bible was Priscilla and Aquila (but mostly Priscilla).

7a. A championship parade down South Broad Street.

7b. A certain online retailer commits to the City of Brotherly Love for their 2nd headquarters.
Post a Comment