2017 Predictions Guaranteed or Your Money Back

It’s time to gaze into the ol’ crystal ball, say crazy stuff, and hope that no one checks after the fact.

These were my predictions from a year ago:

 

1. Google kills Google+, buys Twitter, and does an April Fools prank that is so good it causes a national security crisis.  This could still happen!

2. Synthetic meat hits the shelves at Whole Foods for the first time.  I think this happened?

3. Rio 2016 is an unmitigated logistical disaster, including a food poisoning or contagious infection outbreak that knocks out a huge number of marquee athletes.  Logistical snafus, yes.  Zika virus, thankfully no.

4. Silicon Valley’s woes come to a head – arrogant CEOs, lack of diversity, shaky state budget, transportation gridlock, social unrest, housing costs – leading to high-profile relocations to Seattle, Austin, and Wilmington.  A slow drip.

5. After 7 years of gridlock and obstinacy, President Obama and the Republican-controlled Congress have a really productive last year together, including all kinds of compromises – on immigration, deficit reduction, and energy policy – that confound cynical pundits and a fed-up public alike. Totally correct, if I was in Bizarro world.

6. Africa has its “Arab Spring” moment, as young tech-savvy social activists in country after country seize the global spotlight.  Waiting...

Not bad, actually.  Let's peer into 2017:

1. Trump walks back all the trade protectionist talk, much to the chagrin of his core followers.  The new base he cultivates: truck drivers angry about autonomous vehicles.

2.Major online security breach leads to huge uptick in high-end credit cards with multiple verification steps, and huge chill in the market for virtual home assistants (e.g. Google Home).

3. Concussion-related complications for two high-profile QBs - one active, one retired - are the final prod for major rules changes to protect players.

4. The song of the summer will be an out-of-nowhere mashup of socially conscious hip hop and good ol' boy country.

5. A robust year for the global economy and world stock markets, but signs of a pullback at the very end.