THE EASIEST INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIP
I am Asian and my wife is Caucasian, and, as I advised an Asian male friend of mine who is entering into a romantic relationship with a Caucasian woman, this is the easiest of interracial relationships. Of all the combinations -- white, Asian, black, and Hispanic -- I believe that an Asian male and a Caucasian female is the easiest.
Let me state my case. To begin with, unfortunately, there are too many in our country who are still horrified or uneasy when it comes to white/black and white/Hispanic relationships. I think that's a shame, but the fact remains that external views make such relationships difficult. Such couples that I know are probably the coolest people around, but they would probably agree that there is outside pressure.
White male and Asian female (or ethnic white female, for that matter) has an imbalance to it. The white male is doubly privileged, as a white and as a male, and no matter how enlightened he is, he's not going to fully understand what it means to not be white and to not be male. The white female and the Asian male, however, are better balanced. The unique difficulties of being a female in a male-dominated society are equivalent to the unique difficulties of being an Asian in a white-dominated society.
I believe that most enlightened couples in general understand that each person comes from a different perspective and a different upbringing. That's what makes life, and relationships, so interesting. So thoughtful people take the time to listen and to learn, especially interracial couples, whose differences are more immediately evident. And having the kind of balance that a white female and an Asian male have makes that interplay happen on equal, rather than unequal terms. I can say that there have been just as many times that I have called on Amy for being lazy about her white privilege as she has called me for being lazy about my male privilege. So we even out, rather than one person assuming the world revolves around him or her, and the other person is constantly the one asking quesdtions or challenging assumptions.
I don't mean to blow this issue out of proportion, as if all whites are racist and all males are sexist. But wouldn't you agree that all people view their lives and the world around them based on the perspective of their race and gender? If you answered no, that's probably because you are a beneficiary of majority privilege. can assert themselves and be considered bold; women who assert themselves are considered "bitchy," or (ironically) "masculine." Whites are never asked to represent their entire racial group like Asians are when they are asked at a press conference, "Would you share the Asian perspective on this business issue? (Since you are the lone Asian on the panel.)" Whites and males are free to say that their hiring, admitting, and promoting is based on merit; minorities and women know otherwise.
Let's face it: race and gender flavors everything about life. Including relationships. And in my opinion, Asian men and white women have it the easiest of all interracial couples.
I am Asian and my wife is Caucasian, and, as I advised an Asian male friend of mine who is entering into a romantic relationship with a Caucasian woman, this is the easiest of interracial relationships. Of all the combinations -- white, Asian, black, and Hispanic -- I believe that an Asian male and a Caucasian female is the easiest.
Let me state my case. To begin with, unfortunately, there are too many in our country who are still horrified or uneasy when it comes to white/black and white/Hispanic relationships. I think that's a shame, but the fact remains that external views make such relationships difficult. Such couples that I know are probably the coolest people around, but they would probably agree that there is outside pressure.
White male and Asian female (or ethnic white female, for that matter) has an imbalance to it. The white male is doubly privileged, as a white and as a male, and no matter how enlightened he is, he's not going to fully understand what it means to not be white and to not be male. The white female and the Asian male, however, are better balanced. The unique difficulties of being a female in a male-dominated society are equivalent to the unique difficulties of being an Asian in a white-dominated society.
I believe that most enlightened couples in general understand that each person comes from a different perspective and a different upbringing. That's what makes life, and relationships, so interesting. So thoughtful people take the time to listen and to learn, especially interracial couples, whose differences are more immediately evident. And having the kind of balance that a white female and an Asian male have makes that interplay happen on equal, rather than unequal terms. I can say that there have been just as many times that I have called on Amy for being lazy about her white privilege as she has called me for being lazy about my male privilege. So we even out, rather than one person assuming the world revolves around him or her, and the other person is constantly the one asking quesdtions or challenging assumptions.
I don't mean to blow this issue out of proportion, as if all whites are racist and all males are sexist. But wouldn't you agree that all people view their lives and the world around them based on the perspective of their race and gender? If you answered no, that's probably because you are a beneficiary of majority privilege. can assert themselves and be considered bold; women who assert themselves are considered "bitchy," or (ironically) "masculine." Whites are never asked to represent their entire racial group like Asians are when they are asked at a press conference, "Would you share the Asian perspective on this business issue? (Since you are the lone Asian on the panel.)" Whites and males are free to say that their hiring, admitting, and promoting is based on merit; minorities and women know otherwise.
Let's face it: race and gender flavors everything about life. Including relationships. And in my opinion, Asian men and white women have it the easiest of all interracial couples.
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