All Things in Moderation

 

As a follow-up to Monday's post, and at the risk of wading into subjects that are sure to rile folks up, I wanted to say more about this notion of the limits of tolerance. I truly do wish for people to be more inclusive and open-minded. It is in that spirit that I am nervous about a value for solidarity twisting people into such knots that they end up defending the indefensible or being unwilling to express even a shred of empathy.

Let me give what I consider to be reasonable examples although, in order to have integrity, I freely admit that others may have a different viewpoint and find me completely out of bounds:

1. It seems to me that those who are pro-choice value bodily autonomy. I don't like it when pro-life folks don't acknowledge the fundamental importance of this. I can understand why it is infuriating when anti-abortion folks are insensitive about that. On the other hand, it seems to me that those who are pro-life are horrified at how casually the extinguishing of a living object is treated. It seems inhumane when pro-choice are cavalier about this aspect of the debate.

2. It seems to me that any who wish to stand in solidarity with those suffering in Gaza are doing so from a place of expressing shared humanity and wanting the world to acknowledge that such atrocities are unacceptable. Such expressions should be given wide berth in a free society where we are guaranteed protections regarding our speech and our protests, so it is bad when instead people are muzzled and punished. Yet in that same spirit, anti-Semitic violence must also be condemned and not excused away or even celebrated, so when that doesn't happen it leaves me shaking my head.

3. It seems to me that sexual identity and sexual expression are personal matters that folks should be free to inhabit without being punished or persecuted for it. And, given our shameful history of punishment and persecution, it seems appropriate that we should go out of our way to create safe spaces and support those who might otherwise feel shunned. But surely there are ways in which we can do so without in turn offending or endangering other vulnerable groups (e.g. exposing young kids to overly sexual content). So when such seemingly sensible limits are shouted down, that doesn't feel right either.

In reality, these extremes are just that: extreme. Most of our modern discourse is civil, most of our public behavior freely acted out with no pushback or complaint. In citing these examples I do not at all aim to improperly stereotype entire groups based on a few rare cases. But I do seek to say that, a little moderation makes sense, and while I acknowledge it may be difficult to determine how best to execute that in the real world, nor do I want to excuse people being unwilling to extend grace and understanding simply because any compromise is seen as a capitulation of everything else. That seems illogical and unnecessarily cruel.