Courtesy

 

Oakland A's legend Rickey Henderson, who passed away earlier this month, would've turned 66 years old yesterday. I cannot overstate how much he meant to the kid version of me, growing up in the Bay Area and getting into baseball right as Rickey broke into the bigs. The exaggerated crouched batting stance, the brazenness of his pursuit of stolen bases, and the pimped out home run trots were catnip for me and my friends. Simply put, we became lifelong fans of the game and the team because of Rickey.

I first heard about the tragic death on social media, and I immediately turned to ESPN.com and then MLB.com to read the official news, only to find that neither had anything on their sites. Indeed, several hours from when the story broke, yet still there was no news on either site, which many took to social media to lambaste the sites, either upset that they were purposefully scorning Rickey's legacy or dismissive that they represented the latest in sports and baseball news.

I don't know this for sure, but I suspect the delay was intentional, first to verify the story and second to not get ahead of the family and team publishing their own announcement. If so, I appreciate the decision to delay. In an era when being first has become so important in media, being respectful remains paramount. One may get you clicks and buzz, but the other is far more significant for our integrity.

I thought about this a lot when I was president of the consulting firm where I've been employed for going on 19 years. Such a prominent role, in the firm and in the public space, requires managing relationships and extending courtesy, in ways that stretched me given my naturally introverted and analytical ways. I found myself saying the following things a lot, which for me required thinking about when I needed to say them, to whom, and how:

* "I wanted you to be the first to know"

* "Before we go into this meeting, I want you to know what I'm going to say and why"

* "I need to talk to you about something private in advance of talking with you about it publicly"

I can't say I always got the timing or delivery right; these are learned behaviors that did not come naturally to me. But I hope people knew my heart was in the right place, that my primary interest in any situation was not necessarily a win in that situation but in cherishing the relationships with the people in the situation. Courtesy is a rare commodity these days, and perhaps for that very reason it is worth practicing and appreciating.