Hobby Lobby

 

An important breakthrough for me in therapy last year was realizing that the wellness I wish for others I had been reluctant to accept for myself. It came naturally to me to want those around me to make time for themselves and their own self-care, and yet I was unwilling to allow myself room in my own life to practice that.

This year I am taking that lesson one step further. Heretofore, a common question I would ask those I care about was "what are you doing to replenish yourself?" Now, I ask: "Do you have a hobby?"

Of course, my new hobby is golf, which I have greatly enjoyed - playing, naturally, but also meeting others who share this pastime. So it's been fun to have golf as a hobby. But it's also been good to have a hobby, independent of what it is. And that's because it's a step further in the right direction for my wellbeing.

For the longest time, I had many legitimate answers to my first question. Indeed, I took seriously the things that I needed in my life to replenish myself, whether exercise or reading or personal day trips. 

But a hobby is a bigger step. It acknowledges that one is allowed to have an activity that brings you pleasure, and that does not need to make sense for any other reason. 

Now, golf, like many hobbies, serves many practical purposes. It is a form of exercise, it is in nature, it is me time, or it is time to catch up with friends or do business. These are all helpful benefits from this hobby. 

But, golf is at its core a leisure pursuit that I do for fun. And granting myself room to accept that has been good for me in deep ways. In a sense, golf is the first hobby I've had in my adult life. Which is wonderful for me now, but telling that I refused myself the luxury for almost three decades.

So asking the second question, "do you have a hobby," feels like a greater invitation to those I care for, to allow themselves leisure and pleasure, even and especially life's responsibilities, burdens, and hardships. It is the spice that flavors our lives. I couldn't be happier with my hobby, and that I have one. I encourage you to pursue the same.