A New Hobby

 

When I became a principal at my firm nine years ago, I recall sitting down with my kids (just Aaron and Jada at the time) and letting them know that I might be working long hours so would probably have to sacrifice quantity of time with them, but would try to make up for it with quality time. It's been bumpy since then, but I have tried really hard to make that time, even as I give it my all in the business.

Lots of people have to contend with juggling a job and parenting. And for lots of people, the job is more than 9 to 5, not just practically but emotionally. Which makes finding pursuits that are outside of your responsibilities to office and home so important for one's well-being. Easy to acknowledge, hard to execute.

Indeed, my compromise for the first few years of being a principal was maxing out on non-profit board roles. These were helpful for my day job in terms of networks and know-how, but also scratched some important itches for me personally, namely time spent with people I adore and on causes important to me. There truly is something replenishing about giving, in this regard.

In 2018, I resigned all my boards to join the school board here in Philadelphia. This was less connected to my day job. In fact, when things did intersect, I would have to recuse myself, so rather than helping my work I had to work all the more to make up for the time volunteered and lost opportunities. But it was such an amazing public service role, with so many amazing staff members and fellow board members, that I served with joy, even if the role was heavy and demanding and not always fun. 

In the summer of 2020, I was promoted to president, and announced that I would be stepping down from school board, fulfilling a promise to myself to serve for a season and then step aside. I finally did step down in early 2021, glad to have served but glad to no longer have such a huge volunteer service role on my plate. I now realize just how much that time of service cost me in time spent in the firm and with my kids, as I have since then been glad for more space for both of these important things in my life.

Ah, but the need for something outside of work and home continues. Looking back, I can see that I quickly pivoted from my time after school board into efforts to realize my aspirations as a real estate mogul, albeit on a very small scale. In quick succession, I snatched up buying opportunities in Washington DC, Ocean City NJ, and Miami Beach FL, all places I adore spending time and so can daydream about, and all properties that have strong prospects for revenue potential while not in personal use. It's been a bit much at times juggling all of these locations (not to mention our first rental property, on the Delaware River waterfront, as well as our current house which has more than its share of aches and pains). But it also energizes me to play the role of aspiring mogul, and it feels good to be building something that I can enjoy later (and pass down to the kids much later).

Miami Beach, closed in May, may very well be my final real estate purchase. And, with the completion of renovations in Ocean City and the commencement of peak season there, I resume the role of passive owner of these places, keeping tabs on operations and finances, and looking ahead to brief moments of personal use, but otherwise not taking up a whole bunch of my time.

And so it is on to another set of pursuits to keep me sane while I balance work responsibilities and home roles. It appears that this season of my life is a little more introspective and self-serving, but hopefully in an acceptable and healthy manner. First is going to therapy, which I spoke about last month. And second is taking up the game of golf, both as a new hobby to learn and love, as well as an outlet to connect with others at my station in life.

To be specific, earlier this year I reached out to a few men about my age, all of whom run businesses and who I hold in high regard (in addition to just enjoying their company). I asked them if they were interested in learning golf with me, and in the process spending time to encourage and sharpen and commiserate as fellow business owners and civic leaders. Through group lessons and practice sessions, we'll be hacking our way to becoming passable duffers, and reveling in the quality time this platform provides for camaraderie and insights. 

Time will tell if I go way down the rabbit hole like many people I know, who schedule vacations around golf and hit the links with increasing frequency as they near and then head into retirement. For now, it is the latest in a long line of activities that help me stay healthy amid the grind of being a working parent with a hard job. We have to make time for these kinds of pursuits, and I feel good about doing that with golf.