Too Short for a Blog Post, Too Long for a Tweet 330

 

 

Here are a couple of excerpts from a book I recently read, "The End of Gender: Debunking the Myths about Sex and Identity in Our Society," by Debra Soh.

Therein lies the double standard: If a child is gender-nonconforming, this is interpreted as biological and something that shouldn’t be dissuaded or tampered with. But if a child is gender-conforming, this is seen as the result of social influence and something that parents should actively try to change. I often see boys who are gender-atypical, allowed by their parents to express themselves in a hyperfeminine and in some cases, inappropriately sexualized way, pouting with duck lips in photos and posing seductively. In the case of child drag queens, for example, little boys—some as young as age eight—perfect their makeup and hair and put on skimpy outfits to gyrate to, in many cases, explicitly sexual songs onstage. As someone who spent more nights than I can count in drag clubs with my friends when I was younger, I fully support young kids, especially feminine boys, expressing themselves. But I find the hypocrisy mind-numbing—would the adults cheering on drag kids allow their daughters to pose in the same way?

“If you want to succeed in your career, you have to sacrifice your personal life,” she began. “If you want to succeed in your personal life, you have to sacrifice your career.” Then, with a look of pallor, she added, “If you want to succeed at both, you have to sacrifice yourself.” 

It was dire but brutally honest. Women, in most cases, face greater responsibilities with regard to childrearing in addition to balancing a busy career. Several students came out of that lecture with the realization that they weren’t willing to sacrifice themselves if they wanted children, so something else would have to give. 

If we want the world to be more accommodating to women (and we should), we need to stop pretending that the sexes are identical. Telling ourselves that sex differences are inherently meaningless hinders progress that would actually help women.