Building Bridges or Enjoying Islands

In my early twenties, as a church youth group volunteer, I attended a conference devoted to the subject of racial reconciliation.   The speaker said something I'll never forget ( which I believe is a quote from a famous social justice activist but I cannot place the attribution so please let me know if you know who first said this): "The thing about being a bridge is that sometimes it means you get walked on by both sides."  

In today's particularly divisive times, this saying rings all the more true.  To extend the analogy, nobody wants to go to the other side, even if only to observe let alone to enjoy, so a bridge is seen as unnecessary.  Even worse, some people don't event want anyone on the other side to come to them, so not only is a bridge unnecessary, it is dangerous or infuriating.  

It seems I've had the good fortune of connecting with people who are dear to me, who in addition to being people who I hold in the highest regard, understand that they serve as a bridge and carry out that role with distinction and devotion.  It is clear from their confiding to me that they don't do it for the accolades, for if there are any such good words they are disproportionate to the good that my colleagues are doing to earn them, and are easily outnumbered by not so pleasant words and worse from folks who neither appreciate nor want such a bridge in their lives.

I am all for absolutes.  The notion of absolutes is essential to the faith I hold.  Parenting is complex, with a million small and big decisions and all sorts of nuances that complicate those decisions, but it all hangs together only if you believe in some non-negotiables.  And while my job involves seeing all the greys in a world that desires black-and-white simplicity, doing my job successfully requires unwavering commitment to a path that can substantiate why what my client is asking for makes sense and yields good outcomes.

But it is because of the importance of absolutes that we must have bridges in our lives, cross them often, and serve as them if they don't exist.  Without bridges, we all hold partial truths, where fuller truths are forged by expanding your perspective through observation, experience, and even changing your mind.  Things that can only happen with bridges.

My colleagues who are bridges tell me that they know they are being impactful when they get a little "walked on" by both sides.  That tells them they are literally bridging the gap, is that the evidence of that is a little friction.  What a commendable commitment, to bear pain in order to help others cross over.  

You may argue that the other side is evil, ignorant, or both.  Or that you're tired of having to help someone who refuses to be helped.  I respect that.  But I maintain my belief that the world, and each participant in it, is better off for having bridges that allow us to cross over and engage.  And I'm thankful for the bridges in my life who have fulfilled that critical role with a sense of purpose that supersedes the discomfort they encounter in fulfilling that role.