Will They Know We Are Christians Part 4: Forgiving Others

One of the saddest ironies of modern America is how seldom Christians are considered gracious.  We who call ourselves Christians may fault the media or the outliers for forging this reputation for mean-spiritedness, yet we have neglected to do our part to counter-balance that reputation.  An obvious opportunity that many of us fail at daily is forgiveness.

“Sin” is a tricky concept, because it is related to condemnation and damnation, two very unpopular concepts in the Christian faith.  But “sin” from the standpoint of “we hurt each other” is a pretty understandable thing.  Because the fact is that we as humans do things to cause harm to one another all the time, even and especially to those who we are closest to.  So “sin” happens.  Which means that opportunity for forgiveness is practically ubiquitous.

I suppose “forgiveness” is not a straight-forward concept either.  “Forgiveness” does not mean that “sin” is not important, that we weren’t really hurt by it, or that it doesn’t matter that we were hurt by it.  Far from it.  Do not misunderstand anything I am saying as justifying any of that.

But, “forgiveness” in the Christian sense really does mean that the wrong done me by you, I release you and myself from it.  I do not hold it over you, I do not remember it, and I have extinguished it from our relationship. 

Given how complete Christian forgiveness is, you could see how transformative that would be if we truly practiced that.  You could also see how much work goes into truly forgiving, and that too would be a witness to the world.  For the Christian knows that to forgive involves a full releasing and forgetting, and so in order to get there it is no trivial “it’s ok” or “no worries.” 

I know I have had moments in my life where I had to come before God with quite some effort for help to forgive someone for a wrong they had inflicted on me.  I had to wrestle with God and my own feelings to get to a place where I was able to truly forgive.  And then I was able to forgive, and it was good for me, for my relationship with God, and for my relationship with the other person. 

Maybe you too have had to wrestle with God and your feelings in the same way.  And maybe, like me, there have been other times when you have been wronged, and you didn’t really forgive.  You held the grudge, you vowed never to forget, or you tried to brush it off as no big deal.  But this is not how Christians are to respond.  And, multiplied a million times a day as we go about our lives, we miss out on amazing freedom and an amazing witness.

Lord knows we could all use a little forgiveness for wrongs we’ve inflicted on others.  And Lord knows we could all use a little freedom from not forgiving others for wrongs they’ve inflicted on us.  Yet truly Christian forgiveness is in short supply these days, and what a shame that is.  But it’s not yet too late to forgive and be forgiven.