Commit Some Fouls

I forget where I read this, because it’s probably been numerous people who have said it, but I want to use a sports analogy to make a point about but in basketball, you get six fouls before being disqualified (five in college hoops).  Fouls are bad because, in addition to running the risk of having to sit out the rest of the game, they put the other team on the free throw line, break up the flow of the game, and depending on the severity of the foul can rile up the other team and the home crowd.  So it’s never good to seek out chances to hack at opponents (unless they’re Shaq, but that’s another story). 

But, and here’s the point that people make, if you get to the end of the game and you commit no fouls, that’s probably not good either.  Because while it’s bad to commit lots of fouls, a game in which you committed no fouls probably means you weren’t playing aggressively enough.  Fouls are bad, but fouls are also sometimes the unfortunate and occasional by-product of something that is more than worth the cost of the fouls, which is all-out effort. 

This is good basketball advice.  But it strikes me that it’s a potent analogy for life.  As I get older and get more comfortable with who I am as a parent, manager, and civic leader, and as I read about and observe other people who tried to do and did do great things, I realize there nothing worth accomplishing could be done without collecting a few “fouls” along the way.  It could be disciplining your children in a way that they won’t understand until much later in life, making tough decisions at work that people disagree with, or taking deeply unpopular positions in the public arena.  The life that seeks to make a difference is going to have to lean into actions like this.  Or, said another way, a life lived in which you never commit any fouls may be an indication that you’re not being assertive, vulnerable, or aspirational enough.

Again, I’m not suggesting we wildly flail our way up and down the basketball court of life, looking to strike or otherwise hurt people just to be mean.  There’s no life equivalent to NBA’s “Hack-a-Shaq” strategy.  (Well, maybe there is, but I don’t want to think too hard right now about what might be the analogous situation.)  And in real life, as in hoops, fouls have consequences, and we shouldn’t think that because it’s part of the game that we don’t need to pay those consequences, whatever they may be.  But, sometimes our desire to live nice, non-confrontational, stable lives is inconsistent with our ambitions to be good parents, good managers, and good civic leaders.  Let’s not disqualify ourselves from the game of life.  But, if we’ve racked up a few fouls along the way, let’s take that as a positive and not a negative.  And if we haven’t committed any fouls, maybe that’s an indication we’re not playing hard enough.