Shut Up and Listen

A recent Plan Philly article asked, "Can Gentrifiers Be Good Neighbors?"  Fred Rogers was invoked, in the spirit of what it means to be a good neighbor.  The thing about gentrification, though, is that complex dynamics come into play independent of the behavior, posture, and motivation of incoming residents.  In other words, given the fraught nature of the past, present, and future of displacement dynamics in urban settings, the very presence of newcomers sets emotions and narratives into motion.

This can seem terribly frustrating for folks who mean well and who want to make life choices that lean into diverse settings.  We want neighborhoods to not be segregated, but our very actions to insert ourselves into new places can set into motion certain dynamics that perpetuate past and present inequities.




For the life of me, I cannot find where I saw this on social media, so I apologize I cannot provide proper attribution to the following idea, which is that online forums like Twitter can be safe spaces for people to listen in on different conversations without their presence unduly influencing those conversations.  Again, I forget which post said this, but the sentiment was that there are some great thought leaders out there on social who are saying insightful things and moderating penetrating dialogue, and the beauty of the mechanism of social is that you can insert yourself into that dialogue without your presence triggering unhelpful dynamics.

The post went on to say that when you follow people and conversations, make sure to keep your mouth shut.  This is a good word.  When we intentionally step out of our comfort zones and go into other people's zones, we are going to hear things that at first seem foreign or even wrong.  We want to jump in, to correct or to offer another opinion or to give vehement rebuttal.  We mustn't.  Hold your tongue.  Use your ears.  Try to follow along, and even better to empathize.  This takes a humility that many of us don't have, but it is a humility we must exercise.

Diversity is a beautiful thing.  But it takes work.  We want to be with others like us.  We put up our guard when we are confronted with things that are different.  That is only natural.  But if we follow, and listen, and learn, we will be better for it.  Thankfully, social media is an easy venue to do just that.  But only if we'll take the time to reach out, and having reached out, to keep quiet and seek to understand.