Exalting Humility

As recently as 5-10 years ago, it felt like I would average a conversation a month with younger colleagues who (like me) weren’t from Philly and who wanted to make a difference in this city but were feeling boxed in.  They got a lot of “wait your turn, kid,” or “kiss the ring,” or “that won’t work, you’re not from around here.”  And, tired of the push-back, they were lamenting to me that maybe it was time to do their thing somewhere else.  And many did.

I never have that conversation around here anymore.  Part of that is that we’ve changed and become more open to new people and new ideas.  But part of it is that young people nowadays don’t care what people think or say, because they’re just going to do their thing anyway and trust that it’s going to work out alright.  And I appreciate that moxie and I think our city is better for it.

But it’s got me thinking (I know, that’s dangerous).  Because it is absolutely toxic to be so set in your ways that you don’t give room to new people with new ideas, and in fact when you go out of your way to sneer and scoff.  But it’s also toxic to come into a situation as the newcomer and trample all over established people and established ideas, with no regard to context or history.

So which is it?  Should we make room for new people and new ideas?  It seems like the answer should be yes.  Should we give proper respect and deference to established people and established ideas?  It seems like the answer should also be yes.   Of course, you might say that what we should allow to carry the day is whichever are the best ideas, regardless of whether they are new or established.  But I’d argue that new people would say it’s obviously their new ideas, while established people would say it’s obviously their established ideas, so that doesn’t get us anywhere.

I think the answer is in being humble.  Humility says, among other things, that while I don’t need to be ashamed of feeling I have something to offer, I know I don’t have all the answers, so as much as I need to speak up sometimes I also need to shut up other times.  Alas, easier said than done.

New people with new ideas would do well to understand who are the established people and what are the established ideas, and give proper respect and deference commensurate with the fact that these established people and established ideas have to have some credence to them for them to have become established.  But when you are a new person brimming with new ideas, it takes some effort to rein that in, to learn from others, and to put in the work to express your new perspective from their perspective. 

Established people with established ideas would do well to understand that times change, and so taking the time to hear from different perspectives is essential to adapt to those changing times.  Sometimes I hear people proudly say “you can’t teach this old dog new tricks,” as if it’s a good thing that you’re not open to learning.  I hate to go too far with this analogy, but suffice to say that you may want to think twice about wishing for yourself what often happens to old dogs. 

I am all over the place with my analogies, but allow me one more.  In sports, we instinctively appreciate when rising stars take the time to learn from grizzled vets, because it tells us that their insane natural talents and youthful advantages can only take them so far and that they also need to tap into the wisdom of experience.  Conversely, we hate it when rookies pop off, thinking they needn’t show respect for their elders or for the game.  Similarly, we instinctively appreciate when savvy old-timers adapt their game to maximize their strengths (the game slows down for them because they’ve seen it all before) and minimize their weaknesses (they’ve lost a step, they’re not as strong).   And we hate it when stars stubbornly try to play like they were a decade younger and fail miserably. 

In life, in urban civic spaces, as in sports, we are a mish-mosh of young and old, with different talents that evolve in different ways over time.  Good leaders and good cities recognize the importance of humility, to be young and want to learn from others rather than trample all over everything in the name of disruption, and to be old and want to be open to new ideas rather than dismissing it all as flavor-of-the-moment.  Easier said than done, but necessary for survival and flourishing.