Social Graces

If you are reading this, you are probably at least somewhat active on social media.  So you probably have an opinion on what you should post about yourself and how much you should share.  And/or you have an opinion, upon reading others people’s content, on what is appropriate to broach and what is appropriate about how to broach it.

A common complaint about social media is that no matter how personal or detailed our posts are, they are not really who we are but rather are carefully crafted avatars of who we want people to think we are.  I am just as guilty if not more so than others in this.  But, and perhaps this is because I am getting older, another part of me is comfortable posting whatever I feel like, independent of what people will think about me as a result. 

Of course one ought not be totally artificial when posting content.  Nor should one necessarily bare one’s soul without regard for discretion or context.  But, beyond that, I would like to give myself and others wide berth to post whatever they want. 

Let me say a couple of things, in each direction, to elaborate.  First, sometimes posts can come across as humblebrags, or just plain brags.  Listen, nobody likes a show-off, so there are limits to what we ought to share and how we ought to share it.  But it reminds me of when I was growing up, and I knew a lot of young women who were extremely intelligent, but hid that part of themselves because they thought that being a young woman and smart was intimidating, and that being a young woman and a little ditzy was cute.  But if you’re smart, you shouldn’t have to hide that.  You should be yourself, be comfortable with yourself, and to heck with people who are going to feel some sort of way about you as a result.  As for me, I’m comfortable with who I am.  In some things, I am more awesome than you even know.  I don’t need to broadcast it to the world in a needy way.  But I don’t need to hide it either.

In the other direction, it is wonderfully refreshing when people express themselves honestly on social media.  When they ask for help because they are afraid or overwhelmed or insecure.  When they let the rest of us in on a weakness or a failure or an inadequacy.  I hardly need to say how hard and dangerous it is to think that you can’t be yourself, when you are falling apart in some way, when interfacing through social with the people who are literally connected to you because they are your friends and followers.  As for me, I’m comfortable with who I am.  In some things, I am more flawed than you even know.  I don’t need to broadcast it to the world in a needy way.  But I don’t need to hide it either.

Social graces in an era of social media are interesting.  We’re all still trying to figure it out.  I guess I felt compelled to say today: if you are awesome or if you are awful, be you, and we are with you in it.