Day 2 Agenda: Standing, Falling, Singing, Weeping

The contents of this, my second time fasting one meal a week during this Lenten season, are too private to go into too much detail in this space. But, it was appropriate, in a week in which there was both standing and falling, that I both sang and wept as I listened to one of my very favorite Christian songs, "If I Stand" by Rich Mullins (see lyrics below).

Mullins' songs tap into a sense of hunger and homelessness, of wonder and wandering, of longing and loss, that I think anybody that wants to take the Christian journey seriously circa 2010 feels. And "If I Stand" is one that particularly resonates with me. Thank you, Rich, for putting into words and music what I sometimes feel in my soul. And thank you, God, for grace and love and loyalty and victory and defeat and home.

There's more that rises in the morning than the sun
And more that shines in the night than just the moon
It's more than just this fire here that keeps me warm
In a shelter that is larger than this room

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the giver of all good things

CHORUS:
So if I stand, let me stand on the promise that you will pull me through
And if I can't, let me fall on the grace that first brought me to You
And if I sing, let me sing for the joy that has borne in me these songs
And if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home

There's more that dances on the prairies than the wind
More that pulses in the ocean than the tide
There's a love that is fiercer than the love between friends
More gentle than a mother's when her baby's at her side

And there's a loyalty that's deeper than mere sentiments
And a music higher than the songs that I can sing
The stuff of Earth competes for the allegiance
I owe only to the Giver of all good things

CHORUS (2X)

And if I weep, let it be as a man who is longing for his home