Further Along or Right Where They Should Be
For as Type A as Amy and I both are, I think we have been very relaxed about our kids, in terms of just letting them be kids. We're not stressing about getting them into the neighborhood's prestigious pre-school, we don't turn everything into a life lesson, and we don't shuttle them from activity to activity. By and large, we want our kids to be kids, to have happy-go-lucky childhoods, and to have time and space to explore.
But that doesn't mean we don't fret over them being further along than they are. We are no less susceptible to our age's rat race culture, and probably even more prone than the average parent. We worry about Aaron being able to learn to calm down when he sees us preparing his bottle instead of crying uncontrollably until the bottle is actually in his mouth. We worry about Jada having behavioral issues because she can't deal with the demise of her carefully constructed world in which she's the center of the universe (or at least our attention). We worry about both of them slogging through being adopted, being in an inter-racial family, being Asian in America.
I'm more guilty of these kinds of worries than Amy is, because I tend to be more future oriented. I have to be reminded that Jada is 2 1/2 and Aaron is 6 months, and that they are right where they should be, which is to say in a family that loves them and that has their best interests at heart. I have to be reminded that our kids are not a competition, against other parents, but that parenting them well is for their good and not so we can show them off.
Most of all, I have to be reminded that my job as parent is to be a temporary steward (albeit for 18+ long years) of a life, but that ultimately that life was brought into existence by a God who continues to stay at the table and who will see that life through until it is perfected in its reflection of His character. In a worldly sense, my kids could be further along; but in a deeper sense, they are right where they should be.
But that doesn't mean we don't fret over them being further along than they are. We are no less susceptible to our age's rat race culture, and probably even more prone than the average parent. We worry about Aaron being able to learn to calm down when he sees us preparing his bottle instead of crying uncontrollably until the bottle is actually in his mouth. We worry about Jada having behavioral issues because she can't deal with the demise of her carefully constructed world in which she's the center of the universe (or at least our attention). We worry about both of them slogging through being adopted, being in an inter-racial family, being Asian in America.
I'm more guilty of these kinds of worries than Amy is, because I tend to be more future oriented. I have to be reminded that Jada is 2 1/2 and Aaron is 6 months, and that they are right where they should be, which is to say in a family that loves them and that has their best interests at heart. I have to be reminded that our kids are not a competition, against other parents, but that parenting them well is for their good and not so we can show them off.
Most of all, I have to be reminded that my job as parent is to be a temporary steward (albeit for 18+ long years) of a life, but that ultimately that life was brought into existence by a God who continues to stay at the table and who will see that life through until it is perfected in its reflection of His character. In a worldly sense, my kids could be further along; but in a deeper sense, they are right where they should be.
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