I THINK ABOUT HER ALL THE TIME

I catch myself throughout the day thinking about our daughter, who at this point probably already exists. Maybe she’s a few months old, or maybe she’s still incubating in her mother’s womb. It fills me with wonder to think that somewhere in China, God is knitting her together, formulating the unique physical and mental makeup of our little girl.

I catch myself throughout the day thinking about how wonderful it will be to show her the world. I can’t wait to introduce her to my loves – baseball, Philadelphia, God, business – and I kid Amy that she will also take to some of Amy’s passions, like science or violin or soccer. A whole lifetime awaits this little one, and we’ll have front row seats to her blossoming. How wonderful!

How wonderful will it be, too, not just to have her latch on to the things we like but for us to see the world through her eyes. There is a truth to Jesus’ words about embracing the kingdom like a little child that will take on new meaning when there is a little child amongst us through whom we can gain new perspectives and new wonder.

We are worrying our share of worries, about her adjustment period and our ability to be good parents and what if this and what if that. And it is good to be diligent and to prepare and to plan. But I hope for the sake of the health of our souls that we will also take time to marvel and to wonder and to ourselves become childlike in our anticipation. For we believe in a Heavenly Father, and have prayed for our daughter to Him, and can therefore find peace in His Lordship over this adoption process, over this little girl, and over our parenting of her.

Someday soon, we hope, we will get word that it is time to meet this little one. We can’t wait.

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Unknown said…
Adoption is a different experience of "expecting." I totally relate to your daydreams about the child God is preparing to enter your home, as my wife & I are also "expecting" through adoption. It has given me a whole new understanding of God's adoptive love for us. Blessings on the process.
10:40 AM
Jared said…
Wow, Lee. I just stumbled across your blog (From DJ Chuang's Metablog), and I'm pumped to read of your anticipation. My wife and I adopted our only child as a newborn in August of 2003 (this was a domestic adoption), and she has been a blessing that neither of us had ever imagined we'd receive. We're planning on growing our family via Chinese adoption as soon as we're both old enough (I just turned 30, but my wife is only 27, so we've got a couple of years yet). Please keep us posted on this amazing journey of yours. You're all in my prayers, and I'm truly excited to see what the Lord has for you.
2:51 PM
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