FAMILY ENOUGH TO FIGHT
Our office has had a spate of conflicts I’ve had to mediate over the last few weeks. Everywhere I turn, it seems words have been had, emails misunderstood, egos bruised.
I was frustrated and impatient about it all, but most of all afraid that we were going backwards as a team. Until I realized that maybe, just maybe, all this fighting is a sign of healthiness and not dysfunction.
Oh sure, there’s dysfunction involved. I don’t know about your place of work, but at mine we’re all a little dysfunctional. We bring our baggage to work and as professional as we are, inevitably that baggage spills over into our work interactions.
And that’s where I’m realizing this is actually a good thing. It’s like my wife and I, going on five years of being married, love each other enough that when we have a hard day at work, we feel comfortable taking it out on each other. That’s right: I have a crappy day, and I “bless” my wife by crapping on her.
Please read the last paragraph with a little bit of tongue in cheek. But the premise is generally true: marriages and organizations get to points where conflict isn’t a sign of dysfunction but an indicator that people feel comfortable with each other.
Furthermore, the sparks that are flying in the office also tell me people care. Work matters to them, and getting things done right, even if we disagree about what “right” looks like, is important to folks. As a manager, that warms my heart.
So while mediating conflict is tiring and ugly, I remember that we are progressing as a unit, not backsliding. I commend the fire in the belly of my teammates. And I rejoice that we respect each other enough to let each other have it.
Our office has had a spate of conflicts I’ve had to mediate over the last few weeks. Everywhere I turn, it seems words have been had, emails misunderstood, egos bruised.
I was frustrated and impatient about it all, but most of all afraid that we were going backwards as a team. Until I realized that maybe, just maybe, all this fighting is a sign of healthiness and not dysfunction.
Oh sure, there’s dysfunction involved. I don’t know about your place of work, but at mine we’re all a little dysfunctional. We bring our baggage to work and as professional as we are, inevitably that baggage spills over into our work interactions.
And that’s where I’m realizing this is actually a good thing. It’s like my wife and I, going on five years of being married, love each other enough that when we have a hard day at work, we feel comfortable taking it out on each other. That’s right: I have a crappy day, and I “bless” my wife by crapping on her.
Please read the last paragraph with a little bit of tongue in cheek. But the premise is generally true: marriages and organizations get to points where conflict isn’t a sign of dysfunction but an indicator that people feel comfortable with each other.
Furthermore, the sparks that are flying in the office also tell me people care. Work matters to them, and getting things done right, even if we disagree about what “right” looks like, is important to folks. As a manager, that warms my heart.
So while mediating conflict is tiring and ugly, I remember that we are progressing as a unit, not backsliding. I commend the fire in the belly of my teammates. And I rejoice that we respect each other enough to let each other have it.
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