GAY MARRIAGES
The topic of gay marriages has been in the news a lot lately, what with Canada's decision to legally allow it. Gay rights activists in the US eagerly hope for the day the US will follow, while conservatives in this country are talking about a constitutional amendment to make sure such a thing never happens.
Like affirmative action, stem-cell research, and abortion, it's a topic I've wanted to think hard about and make a personal decision on as a Christian. And at least for now, I've decided that I'm for legally allowing gay marriages. The argument most people in favor make is that gay unions deserve the same legal recognition and benefit as heterosexual unions. Those against, however, speak mostly of the symbolism: marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman, and to allow gay marriages is to hasten the moral decline of our great country.
So I've had to wrestle with this issue from a symbolic as well as a realistic perspective. And I think what's doing it for me is that marriage is only as symbolic as the two involved choose to make it. Christians believe, for example, not only that marriage should be between a man and a woman, but that people should not have sex before marriage. To have sex with someone before marriage, according to the Christian point of view, is to become married to that person. And to get married to someone, according to the Christian point of view, is to remain married to that person, monogamous for the duration of your life together on earth.
Clearly, then, marriage in the US does not hold up to such a lofty (and I think correct) standard. Does that mean we should go about invalidating marriages left and right, or not allowing people who have slept around to get married? (We haven't even talked about marriages between two faithful Christians that eventually fall apart because of infidelity or abuse; yes, it does happen in households of faith, too.) I hardly see how this advances the cause of Christianity.
To be sure, we must uphold the sanctity of marriage, and practice it in our own unions. But let's not delude ourselves into thinking that we must impose a Christian standard of marriage on all domestic marriages. We've lost that battle long ago. The battle that we can win is to ensure that our marriages represent what we believe to be the best and truest of unions, and to respect the unions of others who think otherwise.
It should grieve us that people sleep around, and that marriage is held in so relatively low regard that it comes in the middle of a relationship that has become sexually intimate rather than at the beginning. But our solution, symbolically and realistically, ought not to be to make such marriages illegal. Rather, it should be to guard our own sinful hearts against such transgressions, to live lives of satisfaction and joy in respecting what is true about marriage and sexuality, and allowing those who disagree with us to share some of that satisfaction and joy that they might desire to have more. And so I think it ought to be with gay marriages.
Feel free to disagree, whether you are Christian or not. I am open to being convinced, to changing my mind, and open most of all to knowing and living in what is most truthful and most honoring to our Maker and Lord.
The topic of gay marriages has been in the news a lot lately, what with Canada's decision to legally allow it. Gay rights activists in the US eagerly hope for the day the US will follow, while conservatives in this country are talking about a constitutional amendment to make sure such a thing never happens.
Like affirmative action, stem-cell research, and abortion, it's a topic I've wanted to think hard about and make a personal decision on as a Christian. And at least for now, I've decided that I'm for legally allowing gay marriages. The argument most people in favor make is that gay unions deserve the same legal recognition and benefit as heterosexual unions. Those against, however, speak mostly of the symbolism: marriage is meant to be between a man and a woman, and to allow gay marriages is to hasten the moral decline of our great country.
So I've had to wrestle with this issue from a symbolic as well as a realistic perspective. And I think what's doing it for me is that marriage is only as symbolic as the two involved choose to make it. Christians believe, for example, not only that marriage should be between a man and a woman, but that people should not have sex before marriage. To have sex with someone before marriage, according to the Christian point of view, is to become married to that person. And to get married to someone, according to the Christian point of view, is to remain married to that person, monogamous for the duration of your life together on earth.
Clearly, then, marriage in the US does not hold up to such a lofty (and I think correct) standard. Does that mean we should go about invalidating marriages left and right, or not allowing people who have slept around to get married? (We haven't even talked about marriages between two faithful Christians that eventually fall apart because of infidelity or abuse; yes, it does happen in households of faith, too.) I hardly see how this advances the cause of Christianity.
To be sure, we must uphold the sanctity of marriage, and practice it in our own unions. But let's not delude ourselves into thinking that we must impose a Christian standard of marriage on all domestic marriages. We've lost that battle long ago. The battle that we can win is to ensure that our marriages represent what we believe to be the best and truest of unions, and to respect the unions of others who think otherwise.
It should grieve us that people sleep around, and that marriage is held in so relatively low regard that it comes in the middle of a relationship that has become sexually intimate rather than at the beginning. But our solution, symbolically and realistically, ought not to be to make such marriages illegal. Rather, it should be to guard our own sinful hearts against such transgressions, to live lives of satisfaction and joy in respecting what is true about marriage and sexuality, and allowing those who disagree with us to share some of that satisfaction and joy that they might desire to have more. And so I think it ought to be with gay marriages.
Feel free to disagree, whether you are Christian or not. I am open to being convinced, to changing my mind, and open most of all to knowing and living in what is most truthful and most honoring to our Maker and Lord.
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